~Expectations~

[LixyChick]

I need opinions!

SCENARIO: Friends call in the late afternoon to invite you to a (last minute) birthday party for their eldest daughter. You are dear friends of the family (considered members of the family in some situations......like, executor of their will......kinda friends) and whenever they have a party.......you are first on the list to call.

In this instance the party was spontaineous......but everyone and their brother would be there!

As I explained this scene to my hubby tonight he was receptive. When I told him we had to stop for a gift for Melissa and a bottle of wine, we proceeded to get into an argument!

I swear I felt like I was Elaine in a Seinfeld episode. Only difference was, I didn't want to go to a bakery and get bobka!

I won!

Surprised? LOL! I won because I told hubby that we had to at least get a card........and so to the card shop we went. In the shopping center we went to.........voila.......there was a liquor store. Hubby kept repeating........why should we have to bring something? They don't EXPECT us to bring anything!! I told him it was etiquette! Protocol says.......if you go to someones home you should bring a gift of thanks for the invitation!


OK......Choose sides! Was I right.........or did hubby's point ( we don't need so stinkin present) come closer to your feelings???

[denny]

I would side with you. Protocol says you bring a gift.

[PantyFanatic]

Sounds like you are more than just acquaintances or even just friend. If the relationship is as close as I read it, I think you are past the point of standing on “protocol”. With it being such a short notice, the etiquette thing has already been superseded by them:rolleyes:. Now manners are may refer to the same subject, but I see them as a WAY of living instead of something I DO in life.:) I’d want to acknowledge the little girls birthday for HER sake, with just a few bucks in the card. Pick up the bottle of wine, but take it home and drink it as you fuck your brains out as little kids parties normally end early.:D


PS
I want your other avatar back!:(

[whitehorse]

I always bring something to a friends place. A bottle of wine is fine. Don't show up empty handed, no way!

[dicksbro]

We don't always take a gift to our closest friends homes, but often we do ... and often it's a bottle of wine or "snack" stuff.

On the other times, we take a truck to pack all the leftovers (usually there's good food :D :D )

Just teasing on the truck.

[Vicious Tease]

I'd say the daughter gets a gift (or at least a card with some cash) no matter what. As for the wine ... it would depend on how much notice you'd been given. If you are that close to the family and the call was a "come over now" invite, then you could forgo the gift. I doubt they truly expected you to bring something. Of course, being me ... I'd have gotten the wine anyway. Protocol is for strangers and acquaintances ... friends deserve better. :)

[don73153]

Yes, friends deserve better, and at least the card with cash, since it WAS last minute, which doesn't leave time for shopping. There's always time to pick up a card and put a little cash in it. Kids like that better anyway! ;) LOL

Don

[Oldfart]

How old is the kid?

Some parties you bring a mixed carton of Coca-Cola, some a mixed

carton of others.

Card and cash is always good, but why was it a last minute birthday party?

This isn't protocol, it's how you get along with friends.

[Lilith]

I never show up anywhere empty handed even last minute! Just how us southern girls are raised!

[jennaflower]

Lixy.. you are correct (As IF there was ever a doubt) :)

At the very least a card for the daughter was appropriate... and hey.. if a liquor store is on the way... a bottle of wine is a good addition :) Afterall... as much as the birthday is cause for the guest of honor to celebrate... it is just as meaningful of an event for the parent :)

[fzzy]

I guess I'm the rude one in the group .... LOL .... I don't usually show up with extra things, though I try to always offer to bring something when I receive and/or accept the invitation ... sometimes I go a bit early and help with prep or stay a bit late and help with clearing away and think of that as a contribution, my friends and I are all in situations where cash isn't always on hand and we're all in agreement about wanting to pay off our debts and not incur new debt .... so we kind of have a thing going where if we want to celehbrate something or just spend time together, we figure out if anyone has a bit of reserve cash at that moment and the celebration is done with part of that....its an even trade off over time so it works good for us. :) ... and I always keep a bunch of blank cards around my place so I can write whatever message in it that applies, I buy them whereever I find them cheap (hmmmmm is there a "cheap" theme going on here ...LOL), which for a child ... I would throw either cash in or pull something from my stash of little things I pick up through the year.

[LixyChick]

TY everyone! I love to be right (teehee!) but I told hubby I would pose the question here and if the general consensus was in his favor I would concede to his all knowing!

I really guess I should have mentioned we have known these friends and their children (watched all 4 girls grow up and 2 have children of their own) for years! The eldest (Missy (Melissa)) is 22.......or she will be on the 13th. Ergo the reason that this party was so spontaneous. The 13th will be Thursday and they decided not to wait till the following weekend, after the fact.

I ended up getting Missy a pretty handpainted glass votive and scented candle and a card from the card and gift shop. She collects sunflowers and the votive had wildflowers (with sunflowers) painted all over it. The gift bag I got to "wrap" it in had big sunflowers and wildflowers on it as well. It was even prettier than the gift and the tissue paper had colorful hearts on a background of yellow to match the sunflowers. I got a bag of those Valentine hearts and sprinkled them into the bag when I had the tissue paper just right. I made hubby pull over to a less traveled part of the parking lot and opened the truck door and did all this and signed the card as well. I was tempted to NOT even sign his name....LOL!...but I did anyway! He kept fidgeting and I knew he wanted me to hurry. We stopped for wine and went to the party. We had a wonderful time and Missy LOVED the votive and candle.....but especially loved the gift bag it was wrapped in! She gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek and went over to hubby and did the same. He actually blushed! I knew it was because he then knew.......I WAS RIGHT!

LMAO!