Sexual Prude?

[Cabrylla]

Okay will admit, I am young...or of a youthful persuasion....

I have been called a prude lately *glaring look at a silky monkeyboy*

I apparently have a few sexual fears I shouldn't have...

I basicly refuse anal, have a severe fear of receiving oral sex, and won't allow a shot in the mouth...

okay...after reading it written out...maybe I am a prude?

[Steph]

Interesting . . . most people at Pixies are the anti-prudes . . .

Why do you have fears about sex? That's something you have to look at. Are you Catholic? I overcame societal sexual taboos to become the sex goddess I am today :)

[Cabrylla]

Noooo catholic here....the reason for the receiving oral is actually a good fear enhancement....the one and only time I allowed it something went wrong and a clit almost got bit off...the other two...I'm really not sure about...

[Uncle Silky]

Fuckin prude... *headshake*

[Cabrylla]

*snorts* yeah well that's me...damn twisted monkey...you like my prudish ways admit it

[Uncle Silky]

Like a ninja likes neon grappling hooks.

[Cabrylla]

uh huh...keep tellin yourself that and maybe it'll be true one day....

[Uncle Silky]

*readies the pimp hand* That's right... Keep teasin the tiger, woman.

[Cabrylla]

*snorts* maybe Tony the Tiger ya wuss...*readies a big ole hive of bees*

[Lilith]

Everyone has sexual hangups...maturity and a trusting relationship usually go a long way towards helping someone dispense with them. Until then you are entitled to feel exactly how you do.

[Cabrylla]

can you just remove this thread please...I don't feel like having my maturity or religious preference brought into question for a simple thread I thought might bring a plethera of varying responses.

[Uncle Silky]

Word.

[Lilith]

I think that when discussing being a sexual prude, religion, upbringing, maturity, experience all are driving forces behind how people get to feeling how they do about different aspects of sex. I do not think you can honestly look at the topic with out also looking at those things which have an influence on how you feel. Many people have feelings just as you do and it is a very interesting topic. Because you started the thread the replies have been directed at you but they would be the same replies regardless of who began the thread because the issues are the same.

[Grumble]

I would call what you are describing as your own personal sexual choice. You don't have to conform to what other think, it is what you are comfortable with.

I find oral sex exceptionally pleasing and have never bitten a clit off, LOL, perhaps the the person who did that got a bit too excited or had very lttle skill or knowledge.

That you don't like it does not make me think of you as a prude at all.

[Casperr]

Being a prude doesn't mean you have a few dislikes and some things you're not interested in trying. Being a prude means you think sex is dirty, and only sinful or bad people have sex lives.

Which isn't what you're saying is happening. Everyone has their limits - even the most uninhibited person you can imagine probably has some things they just won't do. That doesn't make them prudes! And there's nobody, absolutely nobody, who can or should define what is the right amount of sexual adventurism or the wrong amount. Everyone's individual. And nobody should expect or encourage you to step outside those limits.

Please don't take people's responses the wrong way - nobody was meaning to offend your religion or maturity. They're just ideas that people toss up without knowing much about you or your background. We're not trained to give advice and we don't know your life story. All we can do is throw ideas around and hope that one of them helps you.

Good luck!
CasperTG

[skipthisone]

Think of pixies like AA....admitting you think you are a prude adn being here at pixies are the first steps back to the enlightenment of complete sexual perversion.

[PantyFanatic]

[Prude- A person who makes an affected display of modesty and propriety, esp. in matters relating to sex.]

That is NOT what I’m seeing Cabrylla, even with my limited knowledge of you. If “others” have chose to set “their” values of propriety on you, I feel “they” need to reconsider who may be the prude.

First I DO want to plead that you permit this thread to remain. It gives ALL of us an opportunity for self examination which is one of Pixies most positive principles.

Youth, Experiences, and Maturity are very relative and subjective words. The point I see is that you have decided this is not the time for you to explore specific options. I applaud you for not being pressed into something that is NOT comfortable or appealing to you. A VERY WONDERFUL aspect of relations is the continued additions of fulfilling desires and pleasures.

Chronologically, we are far apart, and I have addressed areas that just do not appeal or even repulse me. My “experience” is that at the right time, many new areas have brought me pleasure that previously weren’t attractions. I personally feel I would have done myself an injustice to FORCE something just because I became aware of it.

The old adage of “All good things in due time” did work for me in sexual matters. Don’t miss any of what you have your hands on now (so to speak;) ) looking ahead.




(Just one perspective) :rolleyes:

[ericthered]

Carbrylla - who cares about labels? You are you, and if you have annoying little quirks like not wanting to make love in the High Street unless no-one's looking, that's part of being Carbrylla..

Do as much or as little as you are comfortable with, but be prepared to negotiate a little with your partner, because we all live in the real world.

[Lilith]

<~~~~ is a former prude herself. I had a "no list" as we used to call it. It contained many of the same things Cabrylla mentions and probably a few more. For me, maturity, self awareness, and being in a trusting long term relationship allowed me some wiggle room to slowly try out some of the things on that list....when I was ready. Now my "no list" is my "we'll see list". There is no sense doing anything you are uncomfortable with because you may just come to resent it and sex is supposed to be about pleasure. Of course I can only comment on my experience and everyone is unique!

[BlueSwede]

I totally agree with Lilith's last comment, ericthered, pantyfanatic, and CasperTG. They expressed my feelings and views beautifully. I hope you can take what they said to heart. Chin up, Girl! :)

[jseal]

Cabrylla,

Check out Lilith's post above. There really isn't any need to move faster than you wish - if at all.

That being said, I think you are missing out on some good sex - but remember, it is your mind, no one else's.

[huntersgirl]

I agree with alot of what has already been posted, but feel the need to add my thoughts on this....In my experience I was sexually inhibited in quite a few areas. Unfortunately I didn't have an understanding partner that allowed me the time to get comfortable with new situations...I was automatically boxed in and made to feel that once I said no to something if I changed my mind I was a hypocrite or maybe I had had too much to drink etc...He didn't allow me to grow or change. Hence my philosophy of never saying never, lest you get put into a category that you may not want to stay in....

Fast forward to present...very open and understanding partner, who accepts my hesitations and revels in my exploration of my own comfort levels. I am able to be me and do whatever I am comfortable with at the moment and that is allowed to change from day to day. I am free to try new things and to love them or not. Although I have to admit that the "not" hasn't yet happened:D . I do believe that confidence is a huge factor in what you are comfortable with sexually. Also a trusting relationship is a great help. Knowing that you can express how you feel in certain situations and that it is okay leaves room for growth and change.

[girls_rule]

I agree with alot that has already been said here. Having an understanding partner that you can trust and be open with goes a long way in someone's ability to be "adventurous" sexually. Someone early said that after being in a long-term relationship their no list became a we'll see list. That's a great thing. There will always be things that you're not comfortable with and that's OK, but try to be stay open minded enough to at least entertain any ideas/actions that your long-term partner wants to try. If you try it once and don't like it then that's fair enough, but if it doesn't hurt anyone else give it a try. Of course that's easy for me to say, my husband is a straight and narrow kinda guy and has never asked for anything even remotely kinky...but I know I'd try just about anything he wanted.

[jennaflower]

Good Topic Cabrylla....

I would think that everyone has something that they just won't do... (right Lilith??). I think that the above posts hit it on the head... there are several factors to consider...

1) how comfortable you are within the relationship AND with the partner.

2) Giving yourself permission to try it... and ENJOY it. :)

3) maturity... of all involved... with age comes the realization that the things that you try will most likely not kill you... and the risk is often worth it :)


IMHO

[Cabrylla]

I am sorry I have bit my tongue as long as I can...I do not see maturity a measure of age, it is a measure of what you have learned in your travel through life regardless of the time it has taken. Yes, I am young, yes I have more growing to do...but as for a little background information I have raised myself from the age of fifteen, I do not feel that the fact that I have only been expanding my knowledge for twenty two years means that I have a lack of maturity or an immaturity for that matter. As for a stable relationship the only types I have had have been 2+ year type relationships I count them pretty stable, maybe as Silky says I am a prude or a simple "pussy" as he puts it...Thank you all for the interesting responses...I am sure I will come over these sexual blocks that I have placed upon myself...eventually :D

[Vigil]

1/ If someone nearly bit my cock off the first time I had oral, I would be extremely wary about putting it back in someone's mouth.
2/ I have no desire to have a cock up my arse
3/ I have no desire to swallow

Like PF quoted, prudishness is more of a silly attitude to sex - so I don't think you are a prude.