Pain In The Ass

[Eliza]

Hi All!
I've been feeling adventurous lately and I've been contemplating the whole anal sex thing. I'm a complete ass virgin...and have never been interested in it before..but lately find myself curious. My husband and I have always kinda joked about it as in...ewww...not for us....and he has never seemed interested. I brought it up to him, in passing the other day...and he didn't totally laugh at me...but he also didn't seem all that receptive. I myself have always had misgivings about it because of possible pain...and I've always just thought that area to be a "taboo" place for me.
Having said that that....I believe I've had a shift in thinking and would actually like to explore the idea...I find myself thinking about it in my fantasies...and liking the thought.

So...here are my questions...
1. Tips on "easing" into it (lol) and making it more enjoyable for the beginner...what to expect and such things..

2. Advice on opening my husband up to the idea.

Thanks Guys,
Eliza

[ericthered]

Eliza, my dear, what fun you have waiting for you. There's lots on the web under (surprise, surprise!) "anal". A good one is http://www.puckerup.com/anal_advisor/anal.htm by Tristan, a clued-up lady whose profession seems to be anal sex. (Can you imagine explaining a job like that to the IRS?)

Another thing you might like to start with is to lube up between your cheeks and amuse your man by sliding him up and down between them. This feels good for you - as he brushes back and forth across your star - and also feels very good to him, especially when you squeeze with your muscles. This works well lying on your sides with your legs straight, but you can also do it on top riding him cow girl. On top gives you complete control and you can experiment with pressing him against your ring and 'kissing' the head of his cock by pushing out with your muscles. The idea is to have fun and just dip your toe in the water. You will greatly enjoy having him come pressed against the spot.

As you get more adventurous, follow Tristan's advice. And use lots and lots of lube. Do let us all know how you get on - we deserve a small share of the fun.

[Eliza]

Thanks ericthered for your reply and that great site. Tons of info! I will be sure to share my progress with the hubby...but I think he's convinced if we start to play in that area he will magicly turn gay or something...lol..Anyone have any ideas on how to get him into it?
Thanks again,
Eliza

[ericthered]

liza - I assume your female, and that it is a female butt you aare offering him - so where is the gay bit? Even if you buy one of those tasty strap-ons and show him what its really like, it's still a female making love to him.

If he won't listen to that reason, is he an admirer of Winston Churchill by any chance? From another thread, here is Winston Churchill on anal sex (sodomy) -

"It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it."

[Grumble]

I am reminded of the saying "if sex is a pain in the arse you are doing it the wrong way" LOl

Its no help at all to Eliza, sorry Hun, but its a saying that amuses me

[lockbox]

Oh Eliza. Let me start by telling you that if the only sex I ever get for the rest of my life is anal, I will die a blissfull woman. In my situation, my bf wasn't to thrilled with the idea because he was more afraid of hurting me that I was of being hurt. It's a very intense dynamic, physically and emotionally. The only advice I would be able to give you is to talk to him about why you want to try this and why he might not want to try it. At least that way you both know where the other is coming from.

-Lock

[Casperr]

Originally posted by lockbox
Oh Eliza. Let me start by telling you that if the only sex I ever get for the rest of my life is anal, I will die a blissfull woman.

Only six posts and already I like her! :D

Lock's right on the money, Eliza. Communication is so crucial! It's part of the three golden rules of anal sex - CLR. Communication, Lube and Relaxation.

No, even more lube than that.

A little more.

Even more.

Got it. :)


I can't offer any advise on how to open your man up to the idea, but I wish you lots of luck!

I suggest start very slowly - just experiment with him playing lightly with your anus - not even penetrating, just one slippery finger gliding all around your hole. And occasionally pushing against it, pushing in, pushing down, pushing around..... makes great foreplay, even if that's the most anal-orientated you get for a few weeks.

I doubt your man would be interested in rimming (playing with your anus with his tongue) so you can skip that. Although if you can convince him to try it, by god, do so! :)

Then once you're both comfortable with that, he can try just slipping the start of his finger in - just as far as the first knuckle or so. Get used to having something there. Then he can slowly move his finger in and out - still only up to the first knuckle!

As time goes by, you can extend that - insert his whole finger inside you, let him finger fuck your ass with his whole finger etc. Try two fingers, starting out the same way. Typically, once you can comfortably handle two fingers in your ass, you should be ready for full blown anal sex.

Once again, start slow - and make sure he damn well listens! And as soon as you feel any discomfit, tell him to stop! First time anal sex is not to be rushed! Again, you can stop any time you want, you don't have to take an aggressive ass pounding your first time! Even if all you do is get the very tip of his cock into you, and then you have to call it quits, that's fine! It's a start!

The only other suggestion I have is this: if your man sees a big glob of fecal matter on his finger, or his dick, sounds like he's gonna freak and you'll never have anything near there again! So make sure you've been to the toilet before you start any anal play!

Sure hope this helps! Keep us updated!
CasperTG

[Eliza]

That's so much everyone. I tried another discusion with him last night. I think maybe he might be at least thinking about it...so it's a start. I'll report back on my progress. lol..or lack there of...

Eliza