Slow and steady doesn't always win...

[osuche]

Any suggestions on how to speed up having an orgasm? I'm mostly looking to hear from the ladies...

My problem is that I have an **extremely** long fuse -- typically @30 minutes (or longer). It's not my partner's technique -- I've always been this way, with all my partners. It takes 30-40 minutes for oral to generate climax and at least 25 for me to climax whilst masturbating.

Needless to say, this annoying trait seems to intimidate the men in my life just a little bit. Is something wrong with me? Any tips/tricks that might speed up the process? Any ideas???

Thanks!
:confused:

[Cobalt]

that is what foreplay is for in my book.

[dadaist]

Originally posted by osuche
Any suggestions on how to speed up having an orgasm? I'm mostly looking to hear from the ladies...

My problem is that I have an **extremely** long fuse -- typically @30 minutes (or longer). It's not my partner's technique -- I've always been this way, with all my partners. It takes 30-40 minutes for oral to generate climax and at least 25 for me to climax whilst masturbating.
<snip>

You mentioned oral and masturbation, but what about other sexual methods/positions? Any noticible differences there?

[Midnight Kiss]

osuche, sounds about normal, for me anyways. Relax and don't worry about cause worring will just make it take longer. If it really does bother you, start without him............... ;) that way you are already raring to go when he is ready.

[Casperr]

I agree with midnight Kiss - sounds like things are going great! Just relax, and orgasm whenever you orgasm. It's not a race, it's an experience!

And if your partner can't handle it, maybe he's being a bit too insensitive. In a perfect world, your partner would celebrate the chance to have prolonged sex!

CasperTG

[skipthisone]

My SO has always been 30 minutes plus to get there, just the way it is

[osuche]

So I'm not weird?!? Almost every partner I've had has make me feel like I'm some sort of freak b/c I take so long. I thought I might get some recos for the "magic luv juice" to fix my problem.

Which I still wouldn't mind...

My partners aren't insensitive...just tired... They will usually take the time to get me there once. But imagine my frusteration when they've cum 3-5 times in a 3 hour session and I just get to cum once. Not that I don't like the rest of the experience...but they fall asleep exhausted and I'm rarin' for more.

Sometimes I hate being a girl...

[Steph]

Sometimes it takes me a long time to cum, other times it'll be less than 10 minutes. If you masturbate with vibes a lot, it might take longer for a human to get you off.

Also, to speed up an orgasm while masturbating, you can switch methods - start with fingers, switch to toy, finish in the shower using the shower head or faucet. Mmmm, think I'll head over to the erotic section now :)

[Steph]

Sometimes it takes me a long time to cum, other times it'll be less than 10 minutes. If you masturbate with vibes a lot, it might take longer for a human to get you off.

Also, to speed up an orgasm while masturbating, you can switch methods - start with fingers, switch to toy, finish in the shower using the shower head or faucet. Mmmm, think I'll head over to the erotic stories now :)

[cowgirltease]

LOL @ Steph! That was worth saying twice. LOL


I hate to say this but if nothing else works, do without for awhile:( That will definitely get you back on track.;)

[BlueSwede]

Osuche, I can definitely empathize w/you. It can take me during masturbation anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour; I probably average 15 or 20 minutes. It CAN be damned frustrating, especially when you read about women who can come in literally 2 or 3 minutes. Sometimes not having allowed myself to have an orgasm for a few days will make me more sensitive and allow me to come a little faster, but it still takes quite a while; it just may be a stronger orgasm when it finally does come. I always worry about my partners getting bored or sore or tired, and it's true that that doesn't help matters either.

I feel like I've got this fuse that takes forever to light, but once it's lit, it'll keep going like the EverReady Bunny. Unfortunately, by then my partners are usually too worn out to keep it going and going and going....

I've also found that it takes me longer now than it did when I was a teenager; I have more types of orgasms, and they are just as strong or stronger, but they are in no way instantaneous like they were back then.

BTW, I know of no way to speed them up; if you find a solution, I'd love to hear it.

[Loulabelle]

Osuche first of all, I'm weak at the knees of the idea of my man coming 3-5 times in a session LOL (in our bed, it's he who can experience difficulties not me)

Secondly, I've found the best way to ensure that I come faster, is to be totally turned on before he goes anywhere near my pussy. I have a VERY sensitive clit and even alone, often find myself saying 'ouch' more than I'm saying 'ahhhhh' and I find that touching my clit too early in the proceedings will make me take longer to get off than if I'm really turned on before it gets stimulated.

I've also found that what I miss during oral is the opportunity for my partner to talk dirty to me, and without that kind of mental stimulation to keep my mind focussed on sex, I tend to go off track a little. This in turn makes me take longer to cum. I've found the solution is to fantasise as I do during masturbation (usually just rerunning through a story I've read here, or a porn scene I've watched which I particularly like).

The worst thing about taking a long time to cum is definitely feeling like your partner is bored or tired, and the best solution I can think of to this problem is to talk to your partner about your concerns and let him know that your worrying about him can sometimes delay your orgasm even more. I'm sure that he'll reassure you that he loves to go down on you and enjoys the anticipation of waiting for that special moment and that you shouldn't worry about clock watching. You can always suggest that if his tongue gets tired, you can always take over for a little bit and allow him to watch. Hell, even suggest he takes pictures if that is a turn on to you both. And most of all, remember, he's a grown man and he's not being held at gun point to pleasure you. If he wants to stop, he can, at any time, so if he isn't stopping that's because he doesn't want to.


Hope this goes some way to helping. Sorry about the "War and Peace" length reply.

Lou
x

[osuche]

Thank you ALL...the reassurance really does help. SOmetimes I've felt very frusterated with myself.

BlueSwede -- I will let you know if I find a magic cure!

Loulabelle -- thanks for your accurate and sensitive post. I really appreciate your time!

Thanks to all...you're making me feel very at home in Pixies!

[Ananke]

I dont masterbate much but when I do it might take a minute. That is with a vibe though. Only time Ive run into the big O taking over 15 min is when I'm either sick or *cough* have smoked too much *cough* Everyone is different though.

[Nubian]

I must say that the longer it takes my partner to get to an orgasm, the more I enjoy myself. I don't consider 30 minutes long at all, more like the average. My wife and I tend not to focus on "achieving an end" during sex, as long as we are giving each other pleasure. In fact, purposely prolonging an orgasm by bringing each other to the brink and then pulling back can be a mind altering experience.

In short, enjoy the experience and hopefully your delayed response provide ample time for the nibbling, tongue-licking, fingering, tasting, suckling, stroking, massaging, and rimming that should be a part of every love making session.:p :p

[BigBear57]

Yep, pretty much what Nubian said... he beat me to it. More play time and enjoy it for the opportunity it is. If the guy is sensitive to your needs he'll figure out he has to tighten up.

[LixyChick]

Originally posted by Nubian
I must say that the longer it takes my partner to get to an orgasm, the more I enjoy myself. I don't consider 30 minutes long at all, more like the average. My wife and I tend not to focus on "achieving an end" during sex, as long as we are giving each other pleasure. In fact, purposely prolonging an orgasm by bringing each other to the brink and then pulling back can be a mind altering experience.

In short, enjoy the experience and hopefully your delayed response provide ample time for the nibbling, tongue-licking, fingering, tasting, suckling, stroking, massaging, and rimming that should be a part of every love making session.:p :p
I think I've just fallen in lust! Damn Nubian! I like the way you think!

[BlueSwede]

Originally posted by Nubian
I must say that the longer it takes my partner to get to an orgasm, the more I enjoy myself. I don't consider 30 minutes long at all, more like the average. My wife and I tend not to focus on "achieving an end" during sex, as long as we are giving each other pleasure. In fact, purposely prolonging an orgasm by bringing each other to the brink and then pulling back can be a mind altering experience.

In short, enjoy the experience and hopefully your delayed response provide ample time for the nibbling, tongue-licking, fingering, tasting, suckling, stroking, massaging, and rimming that should be a part of every love making session.:p :p

Wow! I think I'll pass your philosophy on to my future lovers; they must have the Nubian seal of approval before we slip in between the sheets. :D Seriously, Nubian, I wish all guys felt that way. (Of course, I am an avid proponent of trying to please my lover just as much, too...to see to it that my lover is as happy at the end of our lovemaking as I am.)