I need to whine but.......

[RandyGal]

I need to whine but what forum would you like me to do it in?

:p :o




Seriously though....my dad's been gone for several months and we're just this Friday finally burying his ashes at the veterans cemetary.

Oddly, I'm more nervous about this simple ceremony than I was about the funeral.

I have NO clue why this is though. If anyone can shed light on this it would maybe help me understand what's going on in this ol' head of mine.

[Nubian]

It's hard to say without really knowing you, RG, but perhaps it the finality of it all. As you say, it's been several months since the funeral. Since then, you've probably recovered from the shock, numbness, and family obligations that often immediately comes with the death of a loved one; now you've had time to reflect on what he meant to **you** and, in your own way, work your way through this loss. Now it's time to say the your final goodbye, so to speak. And this is never easy.

I'm sorry for your loss. Best wishes on Friday. Remember: we always carry a little bit of our most cherished ones with us, even if it's just in our thoughts.

[Lilith]

((hugs)) is all I can offer. I think Nubian is right. You have felt the pain once and maybe you subconsciously fear having those feelings again. more ((hugs))

[RandyGal]

Wow, yeah...the finality might be it.

I thought about the numbness part as well...being that the numbness at the time protects us a bit from our deepest sadness. Now that the numb has worn off, yeah...that makes sense too.

I guess it has just taken me by surprise a bit. The whole week I've thought about the upcoming service.

*WAHhhhhhh* I already cried! I don't wanna do it again! LOL (but I'm sure I will.)

[mindboxer505]

**offers RandyGal lots of hugs and a shoulder to cry on****

[Rosebud42]

RandyGal the finality of it plus the feeling you had for your father. I know that you can now move on with your life and so can your mother. It will affect you as your heart fills in time from the hole your dad left in your heart. We are with you in spirit.

[RandyGal]

Thankyou guys...all of you nice people....

I'm touched.

To be honest, I'm not really sad particularly, but more scared. Probably because I'm NOT numb! EEK!

It will be a very interesting day. I predict my tears will begin with the 21 gun salute! MORE EEKing!

[PantyFanatic]

Randy- As I was reading your post, I was formulating my thoughts for reply but then saw that Nubian had already posted it.

Perhaps you more fortunate than most as you are able to reflect after the emotional recovery.

Comfort and joy to you during these most person moments.:)

[Steph]

((((((((((RandyGal)))))))))) A 21-gun salute is incredibly moving! I wouldn't be able to remain dry eyed. Pixonians will be thinking of you!

[fzzy]

My dear deer friend .... thinking of you!!!! it may be as well that you've had a chance to be more physically rested now then you were at the time of his death .... know there was a lot of going to and fro in order to spend time with him .... there was shock and exhaustion and sooooo many other things to think about and take care of at that time, but now your time and energy can be a bit more focused on this event .... more time to worry and psyche yourself out about it .... I'll be thinking of you as you deal with this extra step in the grieving process ... hugs and lots of loving thoughts coming your way!!!! :)

[horseman12]

You will be just fine RG, crying and hurting is allowed, and is part of the healing process, don't fight it, go with it. I hope you feel our thoughts and support to give you strength to cope on your family's special day.

[Grumble]

Dear RG,

I still feel the tremendous sadness of my Mum passing in march.

It still is sinking in really. So I send you my love and best wishes.

Love Grumble

[jennaflower]

(((((RG)))))) my thoughts are with you... letting go is never easy... may you find some sort of piece in all of this..

[osuche]

There are stages to grief and I suspect that you were still in shock at the funeral. Buring the ashes should be a good...although admittedly painful... opportunity to move onto the next stage int he grieving process.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[RandyGal]

YAY! It's over, it's done and it was SOOOOOOOOOo interesting and MOVING!

I had no idea that we'd all be moved to tears by JUST the firing of the guns! I felt like a wet slinky all day long yesterday...laugh, cry, visit, laugh laugh, cry, laugh, cry....funny day it was. LOL LOL

Thankyou for your kind words and all that jazz.....it is a relief to have the final burial stuff done and over..

now I can get back to the business of being funny AND naughty. :hot: :fish:

[PantyFanatic]

peace........................:)

[Nubian]

Originally posted by RandyGal
YAY! It's over, it's done and it was SOOOOOOOOOo interesting and MOVING!

I had no idea that we'd all be moved to tears by JUST the firing of the guns! I felt like a wet slinky all day long yesterday...laugh, cry, visit, laugh laugh, cry, laugh, cry....funny day it was. LOL LOL

Thankyou for your kind words and all that jazz.....it is a relief to have the final burial stuff done and over..

now I can get back to the business of being funny AND naughty. :hot: :fish:

Welcome back!!

[Irish]

RG---Sorry,I just saw this thread.My wife has been on vacation,so
I haven't been checking much.I know that everyone is different,
but I know that the way that I handled it ,with my father,is to dwell on it as little as possible.If you're like me,if you spend much time thinking about it,you will get extremely emotional!Like I said,
everyone handles things differently.That's what works for me!
People don't realise it,but I'm very sentimental! Irish

[LixyChick]

As did Irish.......I just saw this thread too!

((((((((((((((RG)))))))))))))

I know what you are feeling/felt.....all too well! Memories are smiles just waiting to surface!