Tips for being ontop

[racevixen]

this is probably the dumbest post ever on this board... but i am not comfortable when i am ontop during sex. i like to rock back and forth rather then bounce up and down... and i dont think that satisfies him..... i just feel uncomfortable on top. i dont know why.. so does anyone have any tips to make me feel better on top?

[Lilith]

First congrats on finally posting!!!!!! And secondly I love your location....I can hear Chris Farley when I read it;)

I understand your feeling of insecurity being on top. I think that for many women rocking when on top seems to be the most enjoyable and I can also see where men may enjoy that little bounce;)

One thing I can suggest that helps with being shy or unsure of yourself is that you can always ride backwards. Then he can use his hands to grab your hips and ass and show you what he likes best. If you want to ride but not lead this is a great position, cause he can set the rhythm. If on the other hand you are in the mood to be in control and are asserting your dominance then rock and enjoy yourself...hell close your eyes and just take him your way;) Once you have finished you can always finish him off or be a bitch (like me;)) and don't :o:D:D:p

[IAKaraokeGirl]

<---------scribbles down in her notebook furiously.








Welcome, racevixen. Yeah, what she said. :D

[Steph]

I like going from front to back, too. I let the rhythm take me - I'll orgasm then do what he likes :)

[dicksbro]

Ladies, interesting thread. Never gave the bouncing vs rocking a thought. Thanks for sharing ... helps us guys be a bit smarter, too. :)

[racevixen]

thanks for the replys... generally we either do doggie or him ontop.. i have actually only been ontop with him twice. the first time he was really into it, telling me to grind him and things.. but the last time he wanted to switch positions almost immediately. i never felt comfortable ontop and that just made me feel like he wanted to switch because it sucked... i just wanna make it good for him instead of routine like...

[Scarecrow]

racevixen next time you are on top lean forward and place your hands on the bed so he can suck or nibble on a nipple and you can gentle rock back and forth.

[celticangel]

Welcome RACEVIXEN~~~~~~~~~~~~like everything it just takes practice ~~~~~~I used to hate being on top~~~~not comfy atall~~~~~~~~but now ,with DM , its just another way to express my feelngs!

[soozeekyoo]

Racevixen - I am totally with you on this one - I'm not comfortable on top either and really conscious of how it is for him - its now built up in my head as a bit stumbling block - I guess we better get rocking!

[cowgirltease]

Honey let me tell ya a lil secret. Take your toys with ya.......believe me, if you ain't got the rhythm ...you just get on up there with them toys and close your eyes and you'll GET the rhythm!;) And I garauntee you he will be so turned on by watching you up there, you will be hoping he can hold out long enough for you! You don't have to be an acrobat! Just FEEL him! USE HIM) :hot:

[CoolKev]

Speaking from a guys point of view....
I enjoy lots of different positions but the best position is one that you BOTH feel comfortable with and enjoy... lots of people will tell you "This position is the BEST" or "No, that one is" but it's all up to what you and your partner enjoy.... take your time, experiment.... and above all have fun with it!

[soozeekyoo]

I am laughing so much right now - I have done exactly that, my mini purple vibe in hand, and he didn't last - I just can't stop myself milking him when I am on top!

[cowgirltease]

See I told ya!;) works for me everytime:D :hot: Now wasn't that fun?????:)

[LixyChick]

Welcum to Pixies racevixen.....and every single thing that Lilith said too!

I don't know your age......and I truly don't want to scare you from trying all/new positions......but this has been discussed before so here goes again! The older a woman gets, the less she should be on top leaning over her S/O! Unless you have a face lift.....all facial skins falls forward and isn't all that pretty! Now....don't get scared.......it only happens with age.....and if you don't believe me (and you are older than say, 30ish...sorry ladies, but I am 45).....go get a big mirror and put it on the floor and lean over it as if you were on top of your S/O and about to kiss him/her. The only cures for this is to (1) get a face lift (2) get on top, but DON'T lean over! LOL! It sounds very vain.....but then we all have some vainity searing through us...don't we?

Now.....other than that.....here's a good top position too! Have him lay prone on a bed or floor......stand above him, facing him, and then squat (like you would to pee in the woods, perhaps). Put your hands on his chest and have him hold your ass. Guide him into you or let him do it. He can push and pull you to his (and your) content! I find, at times, when I'm on top and he just lies there....my legs get tired too soon. If he "helps"....I can go on till we both gush! Just do what feels good.

And communication is a good thing.....so ask him why he didn't want you up top.....without sounding accusing! Maybe he just wanted to do the "everything" thing that particular time! You'll never know unless you ask.

Sometimes, communicating away from the moment can be better than in the moment. Pick a time when the mood is right (but not necessarily while you are going at it) and just bring up the subject of sexual communication. There's nothing better for a relationship than showing the interest in making things good for both of you. If he knows you're interested in ways to make for a better encounter.....he might open up to sharing things that he'd like to do for you as well!

Would you mind giving us your ages and length of time in this relationship? It helps when advice is needed!

And BTW.........This wasn't a "dumb post"! On the list of dumb posts.....on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the dumbest and most irritating) this was a 0. It can be very insightful and helpful.....as you can see by dicksbro's reply!

[Lilith]

Originally posted by LixyChick


I don't know your age......and I truly don't want to scare you from trying all/new positions......but this has been discussed before so here goes again! The older a woman gets, the less she should be on top leaning over her S/O! Unless you have a face lift....



I am usually in agreement on most topics but I disagree with that statement. A woman is beautiful in any position, at any age and should do what feels good, to hell with vanity. Yes changes occur with age but we would not say don't give a BJ on your knees if you have some gray hair. Being comfortable with your sexuality and your body are key issues to feeling at ease in the bedroom, or the kitchen, or the shower....


There is no right or wrong/ do or don't, when it comes to sex. As for me I am leaning over, way over. So he can wrap his lips round my nips;)

[flutelady]

Yikes!! Lixychick, thanks for the heads up, I'm 47 and I never thought about the gravity thing! But I like to be on top sometimes, so I guess I'll just have to do it by candlelight, lol. Luckily, he's sort of nearsighted... whew!

[WildIrish]

My wife rarely climbs on top of me, though it's my favorite position. Her only problem with it is that when she's up there, I can't keep my hands to myself! I always lavish her breasts with sloppy kisses and reach one hand down to give a little not so gently attention to her clitoris. All of these efforts end up in her climaxing WAY to quickly. Nice way to beat the clock but not good for a long, slow lovemaking marathon.

[racevixen]

Well if anyone cares for a quick update ::heehee:: I hadn't really put much more thought into it after I posted this. Then the other day I was kinda frisky, he wasn't around.. this may sound odd but I guess you could say I strategically placed two pillows together (with a toy in between). I dunno, I guess with my little experiment, I found what feels best while ontop. Outta nowhere tonight he told me to get on top... I was totally comfortable and he even asked why we don't f**k like that more often. I guess practice makes perfect ehh?

[Belial]

Good to hear, racevixen :) How was it compared to normal?

[Lilith]

Originally posted by racevixen
I guess practice makes perfect ehh?


:D absolutely!


Glad you found your spurs;)