it just vanished

[Little_Miss]

Until about 2 months ago my S/O and I had a brilliant sex life, it was wild. Some weekends we would just lie in bed all day having sex & playing.

But over the last 2 months my sex drive has died a painful death.

I don;t have a clue what has happened, but since then we've has sex twice. And its seeming like a chore.

We tried a sexy bath together, experimenting with toys & flavored lube & furry cuffs, but nothing is doing it for me.

He claims his balls are going to explode soon (oh, the drama).

What is there to do? more to the point what is wrong with me???

Any advise/comments are appreciated.

[osuche]

How about the following factors:

1. Stess (relationship, job, family, life)
2. Change in diet or exercise
3. Change in relationship
4. Lack of sleep
5. Lack of experimentation (novel sexual overtures)

My list of things I often see go wrong.

[Little_Miss]

i cant deny the stress. My s/o has a terrible habit. He can spend better than JLo.

[PantyFanatic]

You shouldn't have gotten married.




LMAO;)

[Lilith]

Maybe you are resentful of what his frivilous spending is doing to your financial resources. #1 thing couples fight over is $$$$$$ #2 is sex. There is ample reason for one to affect the other. Unresolved anger can spill over into the bedroom even if you don't realize that is what it is. Stress can come from trying not to feel things like anger or other, typically thought of as negative, emotions.


Or I could be wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy of base:p It's been known to happen;)

[Steph]

Yep, you're going to have to seriously deal with the money problems first. If I was worried about money and I knew my S/O was responsible for my worries, I would NOT be in the mood for sex.

[GingerV]

Your body knows when you're upset, even if your mind is lying to itself (not necessarily about the money....but it's a good first place to start). Try talking about that, and anything else that might be bugging you. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to get back in the swing (it'll backfire...always does...pressure to start wanting sex again just drives it away).


In the meantime....do what you DO still enjoy. Being physically close doesn't have to lead to sex all the time, but it's still good for us.

[Little_Miss]

We have talked about it. And Mr Panty fanatic, I am 18 years old, to hell with getting married til im in my 20s lol.

When we talk about his spending her just gets "huffy" and sulks, or shouts at me about something I do that bugs him. Like going on at him to take his washing through for example. "all you do is go on at me"

Im not trying to justify it, but if he doesnt get reminded every 2 seconds her wont do it.

I must admit, this month he isn't planning on spending £700 on another part for his CAR! (he did that last month, oOo was I mad).

I am so sick of that car. I hate it. Its all he talks about. Good grief!! I sound like a right old winge bag dont I? lol. well, better to let it off.

Thanks so much for all of your comments.

[dicksbro]

Here's another case where I might be all wet. You can judge.

I'm guessing he knows you "hate that car" which is something he obviously loves.

If you're willing to consider it, try a different approach. Try showing interest in his car .. ask him to tell you about it, show you what he's been doing, etc. Not because you care about the car, but because you care about him. Who knows, could translate into something that brings you closer together.

May seem hard to do at first, but I suspect for a lot of us we get to feeling defensive if the one we care about seems to be attacking something near and dear to us. Definitely doesn't help the sexual side of life when that happens.

In any case, you've got my good wishes.

[Little_Miss]

Thanks so much DB, I'll give it a try (he's painting part of it today, I'll help out).