Santa Clause is Coming to Town

[Michael Smith]

I’m writing a piece on gift giving for the holidays. I would love to get your honest input on the following.

ALL:
What’s the best gift you ever received from your significant other? Why is it the best?
What is the worst? Why is it the worst?
What makes a gift good versus bad?
Is it REALLY the thought the counts?

MEN:
Do you experience anxiety when it comes to buying a gift for your lady?
Do you feel pressured to get the “perfect” gift?
Do you tend to buy practical gifts or less-than-practical gifts?

LADIES:
Do you judge a gift based on the price? Is that important to you? What IS important?
What do you think about: Homemade gifts? Appliances (corded gifts)? Gift certificates? Practical gifts?
Are there any gifts we should avoid like the plague?
Are there any other generalities we need to know when it comes to buying you a gift (all jewelry is good – all corded gifts are bad)?

Thank you for your help!

[Lilith]

Michael~ Best gift I ever received was a hand embroidered handkerchief. The emblem and the fact it was a hanky both had significant meaning to me. My second most treasured gift is my whip. This does not take into account all the sweet wonderful treasures my children have bestowed upon me.

No such thing as a "worst gift".
The thought is exactly what counts!!!

$$ means nothing to me although I like expensive things like the next gal. I prefer to be given a plant or flowering shrub to flowers that whither and die..lol although I can kill a plant pretty fast too:p
If you give me a vacuum just plan on you being the one to use it. :DI do appreciate when a gift is for me personally as opposed to the house BUT often I suggest things I want for the house as gift ideas so it's understandable if that is what I get.

I am lucky in that Mr. Lil is an extremely thoughtful gift giver. We actually have the flip problem at my house. I can never figure out what to get him and I am never sure how much men appreciate handmade gifts etc. I once bought him a really nice watch and he returned it. I was really hurt. I understod his reasoning but I was still crushed. I'd like to know, aside from power tools, what do men want?????

[fzzy]

Michael ... you are trying to put generalities to something that is inately personal ... gifts are absolutely about the thought ... the thought you put into picking it, which means thinking about that particular person you are giving to ... knowing what they like, what is fun for them and what isn't. Never about giving them something you think they should have or think they need, or think they should like!!!

I spend a lot of time thinking about gifts for the people I give to ... I don't really bother giving gifts to someone I don't care enough about to spend the time in thinking and planning..... this is kind of a big deal for me ... most of the people I give gifts to tell me that my gift is the favorite thing the got for the year ... and years later they still are reminding me about how much they like it ... not because I fish for those comments either, I firmly believe that if you can't use something I've given, or I got it very wrong that time, and you know of someone else who would like it .... then give it to them and let them find joy in it!!!

OK ... trying to climb down from my soap box now, but though I've worked very hard year after year to give gifts that are a joy to the recipient, I have received a lot of gifts that were nice enough, but they frequently seemed to come with a message that had more to do with what the giver wants me to be or do.

I love giving gifts to people I care about and so I listen when they speak, pay attention when they say they enjoy X or collect Y or would like a specific item ... so I have a very good female friend who likes some things that are less conventional and she like a lot of very practical gifts ... when I give her such things, I look hard to make sure I've gotten her the best version I can afford, with some bells and whistles for her to discover if possible.

K - I've been up here way tooooooo long now!!!! climbing down and hoping Lixy will show up soon so my entry isn't the longest!!! :)

[LixyChick]

And.....I'll try not to "overshadow" you! *geezzzzzzz, I taught her well!*

Best gift I ever received? I think I was 7 y/o and Mom & Dad (not Santa....his gifts were unwrapped) bought me 3 books of the Donna Parker series! I wish, with all my heart, that I still had them to this day.......but I don't and I don't know what happened to them!!

[And.....pardon me for saying so Michael.....but your question is worded in a very sexist way if you are asking about gift giving in general! You've asked all the ladies what they feel about the gifts they receive........and asked the men about the gifts they give! You have, however, redeemed yourself in making an "all" category.........and so I'll forgive you......this time! LOL! But....just a thought.........spose you were a woman responding to this thread.......wouldn't you want some of the insight that the men will benefit from here?]

What do men want to receive?

This is a very touchy subject for me (surprised?...I think not!)

I love my mom-in-law..........so please don't get me wrong........but she is a fuckin KOOK when it comes to gifts!!!! At Christmas.......it never fails for her to ask....."What do you guys want for X-mas"? Each and every year since I have met her (16 years and counting) we have said......"Mom, we really don't NEED anything so save your money and lets just get together and open one present from one another.........and make it something that YOU want to give"! She always agrees.....and then on X-mas Eve......we open 6000 presents and we've only one gift for her and one for step-dad!

As fzzy said......A lot of thought and feeling go into buying a gift for someone......and I always consider my husband's parents (each side.....mom and step-dad...and dad and step-mom) carefully and with individual taste and preference in mind!

Every year ( on X-mas eve) we gather at hubbies mom's house. Every year it's the same thing...........Mom presents us with presents..........and we give her and step dad their's. They open theirs and are so fully focused on OUR reaction to their gifts to us....that they totally miss the sentiment of our gift and can't wait to hear our reacton to theirs!

Hubby has told me....year after year......let's just go in and know that this is how it's gonna be. But when it comes to the actual moment........I can see him peripherally....and my heart aches for him! I've come to hate gift giving and especially Christmas......because of this!

Michael........IT IS TRULY THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!!! If you give for your own satisfaction.....just to get a favorable reaction.....the feeling within the gift.....will be lost in the transaction!

[dicksbro]

You know, seriously, what I'd really like some Christmas is to not even have the "gifts," but rather just the time to sit back holding my wife, the tree covered with lights, the room lightening ver subdued and Christmas music playing softly in the background. Be nice if it was snowing softly out the window.

Just peace. That would really be the gift.

I think that's why Thanksgiving is really my favorite holiday. Not so darn commercial. Can you believe Christmas stuff has been in our stores more than a month now? Plain ridiculous.

Just my thoughts.

[Michael Smith]

Thank you all for your replies. Let me clear a few things up.

First, I feel silly that I misspelled Claus in the thread title! DOH!
But that's not the important thing I would like to clear up.

Fzzy, I'm really not trying to put generalities into something that is so personal. In fact, what I'm REALLY trying to do is dismiss the generalities that many people seem to have with gift giving. When I asked for generalities, I'm only trying to gather the generalities that people believe. I, myself, tend to hold the belief that DB has about things being too commercialized and that the real gift is time with those you love. The whole purpose of the piece is to try to explain that point of view.

Lixy, sorry if I made things sound sexist. I'm really not a sexist person. I guess I should've explained that most of the writing I do is geared toward the guys. That's why the questions were slanted. The piece will be written for guys for the purpose I mentioned above - to explain the point of view that stressing over buying the perfect gift is silly because that's not what our ladies believe is REALLY important, anyway. And you are right, this is a discussion forum moreso than a place for me to gather specific information for my writing. So, I definitely should've asked the question of everyone and not just the guys to get the information I was looking for to include in my writing. I apologize and will be careful not to do that again in the future.

I should've explained myself better in the original post. Sorry for the confusion.

Thank you all for your responses.