revenge is sweet

[Little_Miss]

but is it worth it?

I lived with my man for 6 motnhs, not really that long when I think about it. About 2 months ago I went off sex, cause of the stress caused by his wild spending, and feeling like a maid.

He understood at the time. Then he started spending a lot of time "working on his car", when he was really meeting with a 15 year old.

We split last week, he said it was cause we never did anything together anymore. HOW THE HELL COULD WE! HE SPENT ALL HIS TIME AWAY FROM ME!

I suggested some time away from each other, then try again. but he said no.

|He is now trying to get with this 15 year old, who has told him she only wants 2 b friends with him. His reply to that was "we'll see"

I want to hurt him the way he hurt me. But is it worth it? His 15 yr old and I now speak regularly, and have become friends, she was just as hurt by him as i was, he lied to her right left and center too. She wants revenge too, but how? and should we?

[Steph]

How old is he? Isn't he committing a crime by attempting to be with a minor?

The best revenge in this case would be for the both of you to cease all contact with this guy, IMHO.

[Little_Miss]

he is 18. he hasnt had sex with her, she wont, she wants to keep her virginity for someone special.

I told him he was dead to me. what she does, well, i dont know

[fzzy]

My opinion (and it's only that) is that to take revenge on someone just means they are still controlling your life .... walk away and be happy that nothing worse happened to you than what did and take the time to figure out how to live so it doesn't happen like that again in your life ... then move on .... live your life for you and be happy in it. :)

[Lilith]

Good riddance to bad rubbish...move along.

[lexi]

He's obviously not worth your time. I agree with Lilith and Fzzy, time to move on. As long as you hold onto this desire for revenge, you won't be able to move forward. The best revenge is to find someone who makes you happy and treats you right. Let it go, you deserve better. *Hug*

[jseal]

Little_Miss,

While you may enjoy now exacting revenge on one who betrayed you, remember you have to live with yourself. Try to avoid doing something now that will cause you shame for the rest of your life.

Turn not away from him but toward a better life.

[BigBear57]

I agree with our posts so far. All I can add is, a real revenge that could satisfy you two ladies would be to just find other endeavors and act as if he never existed. Your lack of grief will puzzle and dig at him enough to serve as a form of revenge you can live with. I've always believed any bad you do comes back to you in time. No need to open an account for later when just being happy will work as well.

[Little_Miss]

You are all right. I keep letting him toy with my head, and I cant keep going on like this.

I went out to someone he used to knows' party last night, I had such a good time, I met so many new people. I needed to get home so I had to phone him to get hold of a mutual friend to take me, and while asking him to pass the phone on he toyed with my head again. It obviously bothered him that I had a good time without him.

You are also right about the guilt I would feel if I did do anything, now I think about it, i would feel awful after the original satisfied feeling passed.

I wont lie, I miss him so much, but he risked our relationship for a 15 year old girl who has nothing to offer him, he made his bed, now he can lie in it. Thank you all so much!

[Casperr]

The best revenge you can have against someone like this is to be happy!

Best of luck!
CasperTG

[lakritze]

Good advice from FZZY and the rest.Write him off and move on.If you are still friends with someone as young as 15,give her the advice to protect herself and never to be manipulated by a creep like that.You both deserve better.

[cowgirltease]

(((((((((Little_Miss))))))))) You already have your revenge. He doesn't have YOU!!!!!!!!!:) ;)

[Lilith]

Originally posted by cowgirltease
(((((((((Little_Miss))))))))) You already have your revenge. He doesn't have YOU!!!!!!!!!:) ;)

CGT you are soooo right. That is basically my theory, if he doesn't love me right then fuck 'em.

[cowgirltease]

Yep Lilith, I know because I'm going through it right now with my marriage of 10 years. I'm nobodys punching bag, not ever again!!!!!

[Oldfart]

If you keep thinking about revenge, he has a hook in your brain.

Sweep him out of your life and get on with making it good for you.

He's irrelevant.

[Little_Miss]

im so glad this place exists! you are all so great! i had a bad day today, i was crying a lot cause i got thinking of other things too, but im a big girl now, i dont need creeps like him messing with my head!

Thanks again.

[Steph]

Cowgirltease is right! Repeat what she said!

Someone can't mess with your head if you don't let them. It sounds like you're going to be OK. You know he's a jerk and you know you have to stay away from him.

[Little_Miss]

and yet another blow comes my way. We still have the house to sort out so unfortunatly i have to stay in contact with him until its done.

ive changed my mobile number and made sure he doesnt have it, so he can't get to me that way anymore.

the other day when we were discussing what we are doing about the house & all the stuff he told me he hadn't loved me for a while. I asked how long.
"since i realised I couldnt do what i wanted anymore, for example the day we moved intogether, i was meant to be going away for the week on my bike"

his parents kicked him out. i did not ask him to move in with me!!

So to me that says he hasn't loved me for a very long time. I found a birthday card I got earlier this year from him, "to my baby that i love so much", its all lies. It hurts so much to think that he's used me. Which he has. He wanted me to be this wonderful woman, a tiger in bed, his maid thru the day, he wanted me to like camping and bikes, cars and things like that, but that just isnt me. he knew that when he met me.

It occured to me, I was his first time, I was his first kiss, i was his first girlfriend. No one else had noticed him before me. that was confirmed by his friend. maybe when this 15 year old came along he thought @finally, someone else has shown interest, i dont need her anymore'

the sooner we get the house sorted out the better. i have so little free time these days. I work 6am-6pm 5 days a week, when i get home i sleep til about 1pm, which leaves me 5 hours. The weekends arent good for him cause he's with the wonderful 15 year old. *pukes*

[WildIrish]

I bet he'll take time out of his scary busy weekend to come get his stuff off the front lawn. That'd be the day I live around someone elses belongings because they'd prefer to spend their time having fun instead of doing something responsible. Tell him "I'm starting to move your stuff out Saturday morning. If you're not here to take it away, it'll be by the curb with a "free" sign in front of it."

And to answer the first part of the thread? Living well is the best revenge, and living without him is a HUGE step in the right direction.

[celticangel]

revenge is sometimes sweet~~~~~~~~but usually like "spitting in the rain"~~~ie~~~~pointless, comes back and slaps u on the face, but occaisionally a release!

[Ryan²]

Little_Miss: When this kind of thing happens, revenge may be tempting. But sometimes it really is not worth it, as he will most likely do something back after you get your revenge, and it will keep going on for weeks, if not months, and will get nasty pretty easily. He may have embarassed you and made a mockery of you (believe me I've been there) and you're probably thinking to yourself "What a silly person I am." But stay that way is my advice. Stay the silly person, make him think he's won, as walking away really is the only option sometimes, although it can be hard to.

[cowgirltease]

Yep some people thrive on making others miserable. :( it's so sad. you gotta love yourself first and foremost.

[dm383]

Originally posted by cowgirltease
Yep some people thrive on making others miserable. :( it's so sad. you gotta love yourself first and foremost.

Yep, what cgt said!!!

I tell my patients that all the time; you can't be true to yourself, unless you think you're worth it, basically!! And, from what I've read, you ARE!! So there!!

DM

[Little_Miss]

i love you ppl!

the house is sorted, he took his stuff the same day i handed in my key.

im still working heaps, but i make up for it at the weekend.

ive seen his wonderful child, she looks just like I did at her age, only smaller. he text me a while ago saying he'd fingered her. i just replied saying give her the middle one for me, lol.

we still talk some times, only when he's heard a romour about me and wants to know if its true or not, who im sleeping with etc.

he got quite vicious and told people i had an incurable disease and couldnt have kids. it was very cruel, but people dont believe him. everyone i meet who knows him thinks he is an idiot, and i was a fool to be with him for so long. they ask why. i can't give them an answer, cause i dont know.

im seeing a few people now *winks* doing not to bad for myself, and he hates it.

any final words in this topic? yes indeed...

Goodbye, John Boy.

[Ryan²]

Here, Little_Miss: *big warm cuddle* - how's that?

[cowgirltease]

Yay!!!! Good for you!!!!! (big hugs) Me too! I'm movin on to greener pastures. Tired of the games.;)

[sillyme]

Good for you Little_Miss - you are much better off without him! Enjoy the other guys and don't be in a hurry to pick any one in particular! :)

[Ryan²]

Little Miss: New year, new start...new man?

[Justin]

The less time spent thinking about this guy, the better.....His loss.

[Little_Miss]

new year - yay
new start - already underway
new man - several, still lol...

why is it when i dont want a relationship, thats all everyone else wants? lol

[Catch22]

Cause your young and cute perhaps?

You wait till ya over 40. You can fall down in the street and nobody will notice!


Originally posted by Little_Miss
new year - yay
new start - already underway
new man - several, still lol...

why is it when i dont want a relationship, thats all everyone else wants? lol

[Irish]

Little_Miss---Everyone wants to be appreciated,but just remember,that the only person that you have to satisfy,is the
person that looks,back from the mirror! Irish

[Ryan²]

Good point.

[angel2devil69]

I would let his own karma get him-be far sweeter then what you could do!!!

[Virgin Teen]

Well too late to give you advice, but I can offer you congratulations from getting away from that relationship. I hope that girl can see sense too because some people are just users and they jump from one victim to the next...

Keep as far away from him as possible. It sounds like he only wants to control you now and you don't need that in your life. Go out and have lots of fun. You don't answer to anyone, and even if you were with someone you still shouldn't have to.

And if you want to stay single, I think you should. Where's the rush? Take things as they come, do what you feel comfortable doing.

Above all, take care. Enjoy your freedom. :)

[Little_Miss]

i still get hassle from his family. his sister and her hubby enjoy giving me hassle far too much, it can't be healthy.

like the other day, i was chatting to friends online when his sister came on and added me to her msn. she proceeded to threaten me, "im going to kick ur arse young lady, don't get smart with me" do forgive me for standing up for myself. I'm the bad one, naturally. I told her where i lived and said i'd be waiting. I'm still waiting.

My sex ban is now over (theres another post about it somewhere), everyone knows it too, which is funny cause all of the people he called his freinds are begging me to sleep with them. I politly decline, I don't want anyone thinking i'm trying to get back at him.

as for his new girlfriend, she deserves all she gets. she's just as bad as he is, spreading vicious rumours about me right left and center. I've learned to just laugh them off, but when i catch someone spreading them, im not too amused. come on, I'm a Uk size 8, how the hell can I be 5 months pregnant?!

[Little_Miss]

by the way VT, I checked out ur pics... very nice.. tink i may even put some online myself. the only pix i have at the mo is one of my tongue (lol, i'd not long had it pierced when it was taken) and one of me and the ex.. i think I may take some more.

[Virgin Teen]

Well Little Miss, maybe the whole family should make up their mind - do you have an incurable disease that means you can't have children or are you pregnant? lol...

It's not right that you're being pestered by his family. Just be careful... You don't belong to him (you never did) and you shouldn't have to put up with that. If they start getting nasty, physically bothering you in any way you should threaten them with police action (and perhaps take out a restraining order if it goes too far). It's only my opinion, but these people sound like they could turn very nasty... I hope that it will never come that far though. Just take care of yourself. Your safety is worth everything.

Now that you've explained about the girlfriend... well, I pity her. If she can't see what a vindictive person he is, and how badly he treated a nice girl like you... It's a shame, but they belong together in that case.

Off topic, thanks for the comment about my pics... I'd say more mediocre than nice to be honest, lol. But I'm sure that you are simply stunning. I can only dream of being a size 8... I don't have the frame for it. lol, at least I have my dreams... And the men here always have something good to say about the ladies, so I'm sure you will be most welcomed to post pictures.

Good luck with everything and I hope they will leave you alone so you can get on with your life without a family like that bothering you constantly.

Keep safe and I apologize for writing so much... it's my curse, lol.

[Grumble]

I just read this thread right through and you are best to put him and his family right behind you Hun.

As to not wanting a relationship right now, well that is entirely understandable. The man used you and cheated and lied to you.

That hurts and it is a natural reaction to wonder if it is worth it.

You are quite a young woman, go out with guys you feel attracted to and compare their qualities, you have learnt through experience that the things to look for as well as attraction are honesty, openess, caring and faithfullness. These are the qualities of keepers and ones that will ultimately give you security and happiness.

hope this year brings you much happiness

Hugs

Grumble

[Little_Miss]

thanks for your comments VT, grumbly :)

VT, I've given up trying to decided if im pregnant or what is going on, im sure they'll tell me if i give birth at any time lol. I was out last night, standing at the bar some guy came up and touched my belly, naturally i turned and was ready to slap him. He looked shocked and sais "im sorry, i heard u were pregnant, i can see ur not, sorry to bother u!"

shocking! lol. I just laugh about it all, if they as if anything is true i just blank them. I'm tired of saying "dont be silly".

as for his wonderful sister, im having a good laugh at her too. i said i wouldnt hold my breath, just as well i didnt. she thought she could scare me. nothing about a woman who lets a man beat their child and goes back to him scares me besideds her obvious mental problems.

his girlfriend is indeed a strange little girl too, she fits right in with the family.

some inside info as to how strange they are: the father raped both of his daughters, the mother knew and she let him get on with it. he would beat his wife, until he was charged with raping his daughters. my ex lost part of his left leg in an accident when he was 5, his mother woud make him strip in public to show it off.

im sorry, but that is freaky.

about ur pics, they are a little dark, but u know what ur looking at and they are very nice, no arguments lady! lol. My mom had a tindy waist and big boobs when she was my age, i got her genes *prays* thank you god! lol

off topic a little here: being off the sex ban, great... i went home with a real sweetheart last night. i was soooooooooo hot when we got there, couldn't keep our hands off each other. as soon as he went to take my knickers off i freaked out, i couldnt do it. ive never been so scared in my whole life. he was really sweet about it, said it didnt matter and that he knew it would take time to get used to it, so i'm seeing him again tonight.

what the hell is that about?!

[Virgin Teen]

Yes, they all sound like a bunch of nutters. Sick, perverted nutters. Explains why he's crazy though with parents like that... No excuse however, I believe that if people don't want to turn into their parents then they'll do something to stop it. Your ex seems like he's turning into his father and you are so much better away from that. Power to you! Makes me shudder at what you said his dad did - that's so sickening, and just as bad the mother let it go on.

The guy that touched your belly... I'm sorry, but even if you were pregnant that's so rude! I'd have slapped him anyway... lol. I don't know where abouts you live in the UK but those people need to learn some manners...

I guess, and I'm no expert, but with the guy that you couldn't go further with I think your brain may be trying to protect your physical/emotional/mental wellbeing by not letting someone else near. Your boyfriend hurt you a lot (bastard!) and you may have a hard time getting over that. You might think you're okay, but deep down you're still hurting. That's the only explanation I can think of...

But when it happens, it'll happen and all for the right reasons. And if this guy is such a sweetheart then he'll hold on until you're good and ready.

Take care. :)

[PashkinThePanther]

Little miss, what this guy did you to you was completely uncalled for!

I'm glad you've got partway to getting it all sorted, just take it slow, step by step and it'll all come right.

from a sympathetic Animal..

[Oldfart]

Just a thought.

Did you keep the phone message admitting to interfering with a minor?

Can the phone company recall it as it is an admission of a criminal act?

A knock on his door by the police based on his word is priceless.

[hugsinexile]

"revenge is sweet, but is it worth it"

just read this thread would just like to say when my husband (now ex) left me for someone else i thought i would never get over it, and i so wanted revenge!!

i got my 'revenge' by going it alone with my two children and realising that i was a really good mum ( he said i was too stupid to ever survive on my own, and that i woud never have a decent job) that was three years ago, and yes i am still on my own, but i have a good job, my kids are well adjusted and i am so HAPPY, the ex is now miserable as sin with no money and no job propects, and his woman now nags the hell outa him!!

Look out for yourself and be happy in life!! this is the only way to get 'revenge'

[Little_Miss]

well done hun!

its true what you said.

my ex won't go out anymore cause 1. the child is too young to drink, and
2. he knows i'll be out having a TANFASTIC time.

he wouldn't let me work when i was with him, he didnt want me going out, and the very idea of another bloke being interested in me was a joke to him.

so now im working, its a crap job but it'll do til i got to college. i go out every weekend, all weekend, and get chatted up by lots of men.

ur right, this is the best way. at least ive got nothing holding me down anymore :)

[Aqua]

Glad you are away from this guy Little_miss... I would further recommend you sever all ties with him, his family, and any of his friends. If they harass you by phone, online or in person... threaten legal action. The sooner you are COMPLETELY away from that situation, the better off you'll be. I had a girlfriend that was rather, uhm, PSYCHO! She once told me she had slept with this one guy we knew, (which I suspected she was), only to deny it 5 minutes later. She said she just wanted to see my reaction. She eventually started sleeping with someone completely different and then moved out. My friends were rather ecstatic that she was out of my house, but I tried to stay friends with her. Bad idea. She ended up stealing about $450 from me and that was it. I cut off all contact and that is when I really began getting over all the lies and deceit. It's been said here already, but living well is the best revenge. Good luck!

[Little_Miss]

i still talk to him, simply cause its better to have him on my side, and it's easier to be civil. my bit of stuff lives in the same town as my ex and his family do, so i go out there all the time. i dont want to have to be watching my back all the time. his family, well, they drive me absolutly nuts, i hate them with passion.

i saw his mother the other day when i was walking with my honey, she blanked us completly. then, when he passed her without me, she eviled him, big time. he laghed in her face, and walked away.

im just waiting for one of them to actually say something to me in the street, then im just going to let it all come out. let them know just how wonderful their little john boy really is. cause ive had it, im sick to death of being labeled a money grabbing bitch etc etc, im sick of hearing ive done things when i know i havent, its about time they knew the truth, then we'll see who the evil one really is.