celticangel
11-12-2003, 12:29 PM
> > Rules according to MEN!
> >
> > We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
> > rules from the male side. These are our rules!
> >
> > Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
> >
> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
> > it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us whining
> > about you leaving it down
> >
> > 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> > tides. let it be!
> >
> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> > that WAY.
> >
> > 1. Crying is blackmail.
> >
> > 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
> > do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
> > Just say it!
> >
> > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> > question.
> >
> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> > what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >
> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> >
> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> > fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> >
> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
> > us to act like soap opera guys.
> >
> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> > ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
> >
> > 1. You can either ask us to do something or do it yourself. Not both.
> > If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.
> >
> > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> > commercials.
> >
> > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
> >
> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> > Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
> > We have no idea what mauve is.
> >
> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >
> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> > nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> > hassle.
> >
> >
> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> > answer you don't want to hear.
> >
> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine,
> > Really.
> >
> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> > discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
> > trucks.
> >
> > 1. You have enough clothes.
> >
> > 1. You have too many shoes.
> >
> > 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> >
> > 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
> > couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
> > camping.
> >
> > Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
> >
> > Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a really good
> > laugh!!
This was passed on to me from my uncle!:D
> >
> > We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
> > rules from the male side. These are our rules!
> >
> > Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
> >
> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
> > it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us whining
> > about you leaving it down
> >
> > 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> > tides. let it be!
> >
> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> > that WAY.
> >
> > 1. Crying is blackmail.
> >
> > 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
> > do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
> > Just say it!
> >
> > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> > question.
> >
> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> > what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >
> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> >
> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> > fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> >
> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
> > us to act like soap opera guys.
> >
> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> > ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
> >
> > 1. You can either ask us to do something or do it yourself. Not both.
> > If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.
> >
> > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> > commercials.
> >
> > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
> >
> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> > Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
> > We have no idea what mauve is.
> >
> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >
> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> > nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> > hassle.
> >
> >
> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> > answer you don't want to hear.
> >
> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine,
> > Really.
> >
> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> > discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
> > trucks.
> >
> > 1. You have enough clothes.
> >
> > 1. You have too many shoes.
> >
> > 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> >
> > 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
> > couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
> > camping.
> >
> > Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
> >
> > Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a really good
> > laugh!!
This was passed on to me from my uncle!:D