Uncomfortable with words and penis'.

[Mae]

I seem to have developed a reluctance to say certain words and to have an oral interaction with a penis. I find myself embarrassed to do or say anything. It must be from prolonged cessation of intercourse with my husband. What the hell happened? My throat just locks up and I want ot hide in the closet. I've attempted to overcome this, but break out in tears. Anyone know anything about this? Suggestions, please. We have an opportunity to re-start our sex life after his medication screw up and I REALLY don't want this to get in the way. Thanks!

[Lilith]

If it's stressing you then don't do it. There are a zillion ways to have sex, to pleasure him and to be pleasured. Take it slow and do and say what comes natural. ((hugs))

[Mae]

Lilith...thank you. This is the first time in my life that I have had the temerity to post anything on a porn site; let alone look at one. I had a pre-conceived notion that all porn sites were garbage. How wrong I was. I'm not trying to use this as a substitution for counseling or therapy. Both of those are non-negotiable with my husband. I've posted because you and the rest of the Pixie's Folk seem to have amassed a vast encyclopaedic knowledge of sex and the human mind. I appreciate the information and answers that folks post. It is retained in my brain. Again, I thank you all for being patient with a "novice".

[BigBear57]

Well Mae, I just posted a suggestion for possible therapy for him and now I see this. Well me thinks your only recourse is to try to talk things out openly. As Lilith said, intimacy is more than sex. It's open honest communication between two loving adults. Hopefully you can find the right way to approach these problems and find the answers. I sure wishI had some "tricks" to offer. Good luck. We'll all be pulling for you.

[Mae]

Big Bear...thank you for your insight and suggestions...at both postings. He's back home now. We'll hopefully have that chance for a chat.

[Grumble]

I am a person that has suffered mental illness with recurring bouts of depression for a great deal of my adult life.

From what I hear about your hubby it would be my summation that he really needs some professional help. I have suffered anxiety attacks and they are hell on earth.

You cannot deal with it yourself. he needs to recognise it though.

The family and friends of sufferers have it extremely tough and I know you are showing the strain.

Talk could help and by all means do so. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink and this is the same with these illnesses of the mind.

I wish you the very best Hun

big hugs

Grumble

[Mae]

A very warm thank you, grumble. We're workin' at it.

[ericthered]

Darling Mae,

Please don't worry! That doesn't help him, doesn't help you. It's a bit of a silly situation, so laugh at it. Work out substitute words you can manage - either out loud or just thinking. Doesn't matter if they're also silly.

Had to wince over your 'oral interaction'. I assume you mean that you're having trouble kissing, licking, sucking it. So what? Again, don't worry. If you love him and want to please him, and are not totally against playing with him, just get as near to his cock as you can while you're playing with it. Rest your head on his tummy or whatever. After playing with it up close a few times, you'll probably be comfortable enough for a quick lick now and again.

You'll soon feel comfortable with it again. Lots of luck, and enjoy playing!