Creation Aussie bloke style

[Grumble]

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and barbies. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the second Day. On the Second Day God created water - for surfing, swimming and barbies on the beach. God saw that
it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day. On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide tobacco, malt and yeast for beer and wood for barbies. God saw that it wasgood. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fourth Day. On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fifth Day. On the Fifth day God created a bloke -to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Sixth Day. On the Sixth Day God saw that this bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with. So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good blokes. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Seventh Day. On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes, smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God saw that it was good . well almost good. God
saw that the blokes were tired and needed a rest. So God created Sheilas - to clean the house, bear children, wash, cook and clean the barbie. God saw that it was not just good, it was better than that, it was bloody great!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA !!

[PantyFanatic]

I believe I made the necessary translations pal, ;) and it all sounds good to me.:D

………. But I think our Sheilas may not agree.
:)

[Oldfart]

Cannot find fault with Grumble's logic.

[gekkogecko]

Originally posted by Grumble
On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide tobacco, malt and yeast for beer

Ewewewewewewew...tobacco in my beer.

[flutelady]

I decoded most of that.... but... what's a footy?

edited to add-

Ahhhh, I just read the other thread, footy= Australian football, got it!

(Is Australian football different than American football?)

[Lilith]

hmmmm I wonder where Lilith fits into Aussie creationism :p

[Cheyanne]

Anyone want any fruit? ^^^^ ;)

[osuche]

LOL @ Chey....



Why did I see NO mention of "SEX" in the Australian creation model???? :p

((unless they have sex with the other blokes. ))

[denny]

Yeah, don't they have apples down under?

[Belial]

flutelady: Yes, it is very different to American football. With few exceptions, any player is permitted to be on any part of the field at any time (ie, there's no offside). It is pretty much a free-flowing game with stoppages occurring when a score is made, the ball goes out of bounds, a "ball up" (like a jump ball, in purpose and execution) occurs, or when a quarter of play ends. The ball is kicked between players, or "handballed", where the player handballing will punch the ball off of an open hand toward the recipient. Scores are registered by kicking the ball towards a set of four posts; if the ball is kicked between the two taller, inner posts (goalposts), and is not touched en route, a "goal" is scored and is worth six points, and play continues with a "ball up" in the center of the ground. If the ball is kicked between a goalpost and one of the shorter, outer posts (point posts), or touched en route to the goal posts, one point is scored and play resumes with the defending team kicking the ball back into play (generally aiming to kick to his teammates!) from the "goalsquare" (which in fact is not square), a short-ish rectangle extending from the goal mouth.

The only way to really appreciate it though, is to see it. It's really not too complex a game, especially compared to American football.

[Teddy Bear]

ROFLMAO!!!

Grumble thats great. TY! :D



Belial, TY for the footy explanation, although I probably still wouldn't understand a game. So..... IF I ever make it to OZ, can I go to a footy game w/ you so you can 'splain it to me? ;) :)

[PantyFanatic]

… With few exceptions, any player is permitted to be on any part of the field at any time (ie, there's no offside). It is pretty much a free-flowing game…….It's really not too complex a game, especially compared to American football.

But Belial,:eek:………….. how do you get the 84,992,531,485,310,808,314,080 commercials into a two hour game that way?:confused:

[Belial]

Originally posted by Teddy Bear
ROFLMAO!!!

Grumble thats great. TY! :D



Belial, TY for the footy explanation, although I probably still wouldn't understand a game. So..... IF I ever make it to OZ, can I go to a footy game w/ you so you can 'splain it to me? ;) :)
Sure thing ;)

[Belial]

Originally posted by PantyFanatic
But Belial,:eek:………….. how do you get the 84,992,531,485,310,808,314,080 commercials into a two hour game that way?:confused:

Interesting you should mention that....

Commercials are usually screened in between quarters, though there is also discussion between the commentators at that time too. Also, when a goal is kicked, there is generally enough time for one commercial. If the game is going to be telecast live to anywhere, there is a small light on the scoreboard that indicates to the umpires when they should allow play to resume, so that there is enough time to fit a commercial in. If the telecast is delayed, the broadcasters can put in as many commercials as they please between goals, about 3 is not uncommon.

[englishrose]

LoL, I like that, I like it a lot....

[LixyChick]

Footy=Soccer...sorta...for those (Americans) who need a correlation...

So ladies? Shall we show the "Sheilas" how we burned our bras...and smacked the men (blokes) upside their ungrateful heads?

LOL!

[boilergirl1]

.......but....about the sex?........






i like it lixy .........<<<<<<<<<<<<smack>>>>>>>>>>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gekkogecko]

But, BG...I thought that setting fires and smacking each other around was an ordinary part of sex.

[Lilith]

Originally posted by gekkogecko
But, BG...I thought that setting fires and smacking each other around was an ordinary part of sex.

that's just at my house :p

[Grumble]

Lixy what ever got into you!!!! Soccer does not have anything to do with footy in Australia. Blasphemy at it most intense level LOL

Sex fits into after or during the barbie depending how easy it is to slip away from your mates in the dark :)

Blokes don't root their mates by the way (root = screw)
Mateship is a non sexual thing.

[LixyChick]

Originally posted by Grumble
Lixy what ever got into you!!!! Footy does not have anything to do with footy in Australia. Blasphemy at it most intense level LOL
Wait...what? I can't make sense of this. ^^^ Footy doesn't have anything to do with footy??? :spin: :spin: :spin: :spin:

LOL! :confused:

[Grumble]

I was so blown away by the analogy that soccer was footy that i became unhinged whilst writing it, I have now edited it.

Did I not teach you anything about civilsation whilst I was there??
Can see you need more training :D

[Grumble]

To get a small insight into footy, use this link

http://www.nex.net.au/users/kingstar/afl/default.html

[LixyChick]

Oh hun...I didn't say soccer was footy. I said they had a correlation. And that correlation is...the primary appendage used in the game[s] is indeed the foot...as some would think would be the case in American football (as "foot" is mentioned but barely ever used), if they didn't know the game...so those two games cannot be compared...but a closer comparison (if one didn't know footy at all) would be to American soccer!

I'm more civilized than you realize Grumble! I hate all sports!

*ducks the rotten tomatoes*