Good Bye

[LarryL]

I realize that what I now write is of no interest to some Pixie people, of marginal interest to others, and of somewhat significant interest to a few special ones. Even that interest, I’m sure, won’t live very long soon becoming a thin memory of someone whose name will slip your mind very shortly. Still, it is important for me to write this. It is important say good bye and not just delete myself from your lives with no meaning, no reason, no one last, final, strong hug.

My participation in this discussion group will end shortly. Many of you know why I came here. Many of you know that I came with, and still have, low self-esteem. I came seeking affection, attention, validation as a person and as a man. Many of you saw the scared, insecure, and, yes, foolish old man underneath my posts. In summary, I came seeking the attention and affection I was not receiving at home. Part of me wanted to take one last chance to find out if I was in anyway a worthwhile man who did deserve love and attention, etc. That my be one reason why I jumped so strong and so fast.

I now know that I am someone someone could love. I am a good man with qualities attractive to women. There is no reason why I should not have affection and attention and even passion. I can
only use eight letters and one space to show so large a gratitude that can never fit into such a small space: Thank You. Please know that behind those two words are feelings, emotions, and
tears. I thank you all so very, very much.

Pixies is not a good place for me. Perhaps it is as simple as age. Pixies seems to be for younger people, more playful, more secure, I don’t know, more open than my generation. My generation blew open the doors of perception and convention with a sudden explosion of color and music and dance, and acid. You guys, however, have been living in the world we opened for a long time now. You guys went in and settled down. You wrote the constitution for a world of wonder with freedom to love and live and be happy. I am pleased, to a degree, with what you have accomplished. I really don’t think I fit in here though.

Pixies is opening me up more and especially my sexuality. Really. It is just not fair for a near 53-year-old man to start changing. I don’t think I have the energy I once had to go through this.
Change, growth as a human being, can be hard work. It can also take more time than I can afford to devote to it. I’m just not as free as you in your 20's, 30's, even 40's. The 50's decade is very
different. As a sidebar, be prepared to have your world flipped over in ways you cannot imagine later in your life. The 50's, at least for me, contains another identity crisis. The identity crisis of
the 20's–who am I? Where am I going? Why an I here?–returns in the 50's. Ouch. Not fair. I must answer those questions again.

Back to my point. I will take what I have learned about myself while in Pixies and use it to reshape my life as best I can with what energy and time I have left. I will work my ass off to get
my needs met at home with my wife of 24 years. The attention and appreciation I have felt here gives me the boost (I hope) I need to make that happen here at home. I am too old to play too far and for too long away from home. Besides, you guys play too hard. I can’t keep up.

Before I close, permit me a little advice please. Read it for what it is and take as much as pertains to you. Be careful in your relationship now. A lot of you are married. Be careful. I did not see this coming, but you too may find you and your spouse looking at each other ten, fifteen, twenty years from now asking each other: “What happened? What happened to us?” I know now for truth that if our needs are not met at home, we look elsewhere. Please, be careful guys.

One request if I may. I would like to keep my Pixies open for awhile. I hope for and ask for anyone of you to post a response to this, a good bye LarryL, you crazy old hippie dude. Please. I'm sentimental too.

(I save things to read later. Some quiet evening in 2014, I may sit by the fire, read your precious good bye words, and smile remembering the brief and wonderful time I had Pixies back in 2004.)

I do love you,
Larry

[jseal]

LarryL,

I didn't get to know you, and I regret that. Good luck in the future sir. I wish you all the best.

[darogle]

Good bye LarryL, you crazy old hippie dude. :(

Your posts contributed a great deal to this site and I am genuinely sad to see that you are considering leaving. I think you still have a wonderous amount to contribute, many insights that will be lost. As far as the youth of this site, I'm sure that they could certainly use much more of the sage advice you are adept at giving. For us older folk, we sure do appreciate the company. :)
I wish you well though. You have a good head on your shoulders and I'm certain you have the best of reasons behind your decisions, so I support you in all your endevours. Please don't forget us, we'll be here whenever you want to check back in and say "hi". God speed to you, my friend.

[GingerV]

Well damn and damn. That'll teach me not to think "now that's someone I want to get to know better when I finally have time to devote to Pixies again."

I've enjoyed your words very much on my fly bys since you came among us. And as much as these just can't be my favorites....they definately show why you were such a wonderful addition to the crew. Gonna miss 'em, and you. I regret not getting the chance to know you better.

So, if you get to be a sentimental 50 something......I demand permission to be a sentimental 30 something, and lean on the optimistic notion that ANYONE might come back again....and that they do more often than not.

May you find the strength to build what you desire.

G

[Aqua]

Goodbye Larry... I will certainly miss the eloquent way with which you describe our beautiful state. Washington has much to offer... Desert, Forests, Mountains, Canyons, Cities, and Countrysides, and you painted it with words perfectly for those here at Pixies that have never seen it.

Take care Larry... we will be here should you get the idea to say hello from time to time.

[Lilith]

When you need us or just miss us, we'll be here. I'll miss you.

[darogle]

Oh...I almost forgot...

DON'T GO!!!!!!!!!


:p

[BlueSwede]

Gee, Larry, I am so sorry to hear that you are leaving. I always loved what you wrote, maybe because I could identify so well with what you had to say (being 56 myself and an old, sentimental, why can't we all just get along kind of hippy minus the drugs). I also loved your sense of humor. I sure will miss you. :(

[dicksbro]

Larry, as a sixty (soon to be sixty-one) year old Pixie ... it's not a site just for the young. Didn't really get to know you real well, but I hope you might consider hanging around ... at least for casual visits. For a long time after joining, I was pretty shy and really felt a tiny bit intimidated by how close so many Pixies seemed to be. But I persevered and found that this is really a special place made up of a lot of very special people of all ages and as time passes and they do get to know you a bit, they're very warm and willing to share.

Anyway, you always have our best wishes and one of those is that maybe you'll want to give the site a longer try.

Best wishes on whatever choice you make.

DB

[maddy]

happy tomorrow's - knowing what's best for you and following that path is admirable. As much wisdom as you have to share with us, I'm sure there is a whole other world around you that will endulge of it when you share it with them.

Everyone needs an escape from reality from time to time, and I'm glad that you found us when you needed yours. I hope you walk away with even a speck of what you've left here.

[imaginewithme]

Larry,
You know how you've touched my heart and have become a very dear friend to me. I am sorry that not everyone got to know you like I did. Your words are wonderful and you touched so many in so many different ways. I thank YOU for what you gave me. You built me up so high each time you'd write. I hate to see you leave here because you make things fun for me, but I am selfish. I look forward to things you write. I need you here. I hate this and I hate saying good bye to you so I won't! I only want what's best for you and your wife. It's up to both of you to make things good. I want you happy.
You're an amazing man and you've touched me. I won't ever forget you and your fun posts on pixies. Things won't be the same here without you, that's for sure. Whenever you need a real friend, think of me and find me. I'll be right here for you, right here in dreamland. :(
Love, Your Friend,
Leah

[jennaflower]

Larry...

as silly as this may sound...

My first Pixie tears are spent as I read your post.. I am sorry to see you go... not because we took time to chat privately (I wish we did)... but because from the dark corner in which I linger I enjoyed your posts... and found great comfort in your sensitive nature.

I wish you and the Mrs. much happiness.. and hope that in time you will find a path that will lead you back to this wonderful place...

Hugs..

[MilkToast]

Larry,
Though I did not get to know much at all, I can say "best of luck in your journeys"... You are leaving this place on our own terms, and that is a good thing. From reading some of the posts above it is obvious that you contributed to many here and I am sure that you will always be welcome back should such a day come.

Have a great one.
-Toast

[Teddy Bear]

((((Larry))))

If you're leaving to spend more time with your wife and do 'real life' stuff, I wish you all the best! May you find the love and happiness you seek and have a long healthy life, filled with all good things!! And of course lots of great sex!

But don't say you're leaving because of your age. There are several of us old-timers here. I'll be 49 in Sept. Pixies seems to be ageless or all the same age. Everyone is accepted no matter which generation you're from.

Old age is not a valid reason for leaving, especially since you're not old!! Leaving for your wife and marriage is ok. :) For whatever reason, know that you'll be missed and welcomed back any time.

Have a great life. "Good bye LarryL, you crazy old hippie dude."

:) :) :)

[imaginewithme]

Can't I be selfish and say "DONT GO--WE NEED YOU HERE TO BOOST US UP, HELL, I NEED YOU HERE!"?

[denny]

Larry, I wish you well in whatever you now choose to do. Some of your words hit home as I am also a fifty something guy with huge holes needing to be filled with emotion. Good luck with your marriage and please come here anytime. You don't have to stay away.

[Irish]

Originally posted by dicksbro
Larry, as a sixty (soon to be sixty-one) year old Pixie ... it's not a site just for the young. Didn't really get to know you real well, but I hope you might consider hanging around ... at least for casual visits. For a long time after joining, I was pretty shy and really felt a tiny bit intimidated by how close so many Pixies seemed to be. But I persevered and found that this is really a special place made up of a lot of very special people of all ages and as time passes and they do get to know you a bit, they're very warm and willing to share.

Anyway, you always have our best wishes and one of those is that maybe you'll want to give the site a longer try.

Best wishes on whatever choice you make.

DB
LarryL---I'm 60 also.I have been married for 39yrs.I have two
daughters-36 & 34.I have been registered here since 2001.Times change & we must change with them.Give it a chance,life is what
you make of it.I certainly came from a TOTALLY different lifestyle.
Don't just give up.Feel free,to use my motto:A winner,never quits,
& a quitter, never wins!Trust me,it will get you thru some hard times. Irish

[fzzy]

LarryL you have become a wonderful part of Pixies ... you will always be welcome here (no matter how often or seldom you visit) ... I wish you the very best in life and hope that your wife is open to the wonderful changes that can be ahead for you both.... let us know sometime how it's going ... in the meantime, of course you are someone who deserves love .... you are a fine and caring man, a dang sexy hippie! :)

[Oldfart]

LarryL,

I'm another of the over 50s who have found a second home here.

You don't have to be a bouncing mid-20s to be comfortable here.

You do need to contribute openly and accept that some won't agree.

Pixies has always been to me more about like-minded community

rather than full on rampant sexuality.

Come back soon, just to let us know you're OK.

[scotzoidman]

LarryL, I can only echo what he others have said...for sure, take care of your marriage, that's more important rhan anything else, but DO NOT think you can't keep up with the younger crowd...I'm not 50 yet, but I can smell it from here, & my health issues have made me feel much older...in fact, they kept me away from this wonderful place a lot during the last year...but you have been accepted here, & as such you can't ever leave...the love of these people will pull you back (geez, I kinda sound like a crazy ol' hippie dude myself)...so come back whenever ya get a chance...

[sodaklostsoul]

Well Larry I can't think of what to say that has not already been said. I'm still new here, but I tend to be shy, and Pixie's made me feel at home. Age does not matter here. I may only be in my late 30's, but dam you older guys are great. But I do wish you well and hope you find what your looking for. Will miss the way you have with words. Take care.

[Sassy Rose]

Larry

I have only just come back to the site myself so the two of us have not had much contact but I had hoped we might be able to get to know one another better. I can see from your posts what a fantastic guy you are and better yet, you are from Washington *LOL*

Just know that you always have friends here and you are always more then welcome to email me when you need a friendly voice on the other side of the Mountains ;)

*Big Hugs*
Sassy Rose

[Grumble]

Ahhh Larry,

I am one of the older guys here at pixies, I am 52 in September.
For myself I do not feel it is a place just for the younger ones. There is a place for everyone. I know that many of Pixies folk get some good insights into things from your posts. I have always read what you post with interest and I respect and admire you.

I reckon you have the ability to change still, just being here has helped me evolve so much, I put a lot of myself up front here, my childhood problems, rape, suicide attempt, therapy, the long and draining internet love affair that came to nothing. Recently my trip and meeting the woman I am now in love with and entering a partnership the we expect to last for the rest of our lives.

We can all learn and change at any age.

You are a worthwhile and lovable man. Keep telling yourself that.

I hope you can drop in from time to time and say hi as you resolve your issues. Pixies will not change your life, only you can do that, but it will give you the comfort and support of good people from all over the world. Special people with good hearts and open minds.

I consider you a good and decent man and would love you to stay. I won't say goodbye but till we meet again

Take care

Ian

[LixyChick]

(((((LarryL)))))) you crazy old hippie dude, you! Had we gotten to know one another better, you'd know I am not posting a "goodbye" to you because I can never bring myself to say it. I understand your reasons for feeling a need to say it to us though...and I TY for respecting and caring enough about us to not have just left and left us to wonder. I hope that the changes that have and will come to you will include the evolution of your wife as well. I'll keep good thoughts that she'll see what a good and special man she has in you.

If I'd gotten to know you better I would have been able to tell you that your contributions to the site have, thus far, been so insightful and funny and prompted memories of days gone by...etc. I'm not a spring chicken either ya know! Age is superseded here, but I'll tell you now, I am 46 going on 22 (oh the memories of that age!) sometimes and at other times I'm going on 65. I'm a "left over" hippie type person too, and I'll miss relating to you on that level. This might be a sex site...but being friends can be sexy too!

So, with that said, I'll just leave you with this...

Admission is free...you pay by leaving a bit of your heart if you leave! And...if for some reason you can't help but peek in from time to time...our revolving door is NEVER locked!

Best Wishes!

*flashes the peace sign and a boob* :D ;)

[musicman]

Larry

If there's one thing Pixie's has taught me, is that once you're here, you're family....it doesn't matter if you're 30, 40, 50 or 60 - everyone has good news to share, problems for which they lean on their friends here and some just like to hang out...whatever it is, you can be yourself and that is probably the single best thing about it.

I'm sorry you're leaving and I do hope we'll get to see you again someday. Good luck in accomplishing what you're setting out to do and remember, your Pixies friends will always be here for you to lean on if you need us....

and as requested:

Good bye LarryL, you crazy old hippie dude

[Coaster]

Hey crazy ol hippee dude! Am another one pushing on up close to 50.... and I've never been so accepted for who I really am as here at Pixies. Heck it took a 30 something to pull me outta lurker status to play games. I too am married for 25 yrs and do come here to escape from a life of complacency to a virtual life out on the edge. But if you knew me in real life I wouldn't be as bold as I am here..... anonymity can sometimes be a good thing.

Anyway, sorry I didn't get to know you better and I hope you pop back now and then to let us know how you are doing. Best of luck to you both. Like Lixy ( who got my very first post .... so I'll never forget her!) I won't say goodbye..... did that once last week and won't ever do it again.... so...

See ya later dude!

[Vullkan]

Larry


You and I know each other not--and sad it would seem that still will not know each other.

But I say to you not to quit; never retreat, never fall back--CHARGE AHEAD, "once more into the breach dear friends...."

For what I have lived and seen in this world the one thing I have learned is to never surrender--better die fighting standing up then to live on ones knees (figuratively speaking). And quitting is surrendering. Perhaps you haven't found exactly what you sought here at Pixies--or should I shall not yet.

[Pita]

(((Larry))) I too am very sorry and a little shocked to see you go. I hope you read all these post and reconsider your value on this board. I have only been here a short time and so many have made me feel very welcomed including you most of all.

Pixies is a wonderful place to play and have friends. I really like the fact that there are older more mature people here that just want to have a little fun in whatever that means to them.

Like the others I wish you only the very best and I do hope you can find the happiness at home that I know you want so badly.

God bless and take care, Tess

[huntersgirl]

I am sorry to see you go! I too have enjoyed your posts and though I didn't have the chance to get to know you on a personal level, you will still be missed! I wish you all the best and I hope that you find the strength needed to do what you need to do. I find that it has a way of being there even when you don't think it is. Take care. Hope to see you around again when and if you are able.

~hg:)

[rockintime]

Larry...congratulations on your decision to renew your ties with your wife…24 years definitely deserves making an all-out effort to rebuild the fire…my best to you and her. Relationships are best when fostered and enjoyed.

I can not echo your comments with respect to age. I believe we change continually throughout our lives...it keeps life interesting. The energy for that change and living life to the fullest resides within us and is worth expending no matter what age you are. With respect to Pixies…I’m in my 50’s as well and I’ve felt welcomed by and comfortable with Pixies members of all ages.

I’ve found you to be a nice guy the few times we’ve talked briefly in chat and am sorry to see you leaving Pixies. But as others have said, pop back in whenever it’s right for you.