Butt-play help!

[OzKristin]

Hey guys...
I know this has come up lots of times, but I need some renewed advice, maybe some of you have come up with new ideas?

Even though I don't do it too often, I like to have anal sex and use toys back there as well, but it's hard for me to get used to the idea of feeling pressure and some pain back there.
we go slow
we use loads of lube....
and i try to get as turned on as possible before we even really begin
and I still feel too tight and it gets unbearable to go any farther. What do you think I can do? I'm very open minded and I don't want to let this get me down, however since I do experience pain (much more than what I can handle) it makes me not try this as often as I'd like to.

[Prophet Reality]

Well I would suggest to use your fingers to start to open you up. It is playful and slow... so it takes some of the pain away. Or you could get some anal beads, get the small set first and then slowly insert them and graduate up to the next size. But the main thing is to take your time and do it gradually.

[cabanah]

i know it doesn't sound good--but the only time my wife lets me in the back door is if she has plenty to drink as then it loosens her inhabitions and also she feels less pain

[Pinot Noir]

lots of lube! both alchohol and back there too...

[osuche]

You know...I am still stuck on the idea that a lady doesn't have to like *everything* sexually. If ou don't enjoy anal play, don't do it. Find something else you enjoy more. You're not necessarily doing it wrong...you may just not be built for it, or at least not built to *enjoy* it. Find something else that takes your fancy.

**shrugs**

[OzKristin]

You know...I am still stuck on the idea that a lady doesn't have to like *everything* sexually. If ou don't enjoy anal play, don't do it. Find something else you enjoy more. You're not necessarily doing it wrong...you may just not be built for it, or at least not built to *enjoy* it. Find something else that takes your fancy.

**shrugs**

you know, that could very well be it, but after the "easing in" part, i've become to enjoy it...i've just been trying to find a way to make that whole semi-painful process a little easier...i guess its just "lube lube lube"....and you know alcohol is a good idea...
i'll be "sucessful" soon....i mean we've been close to successful but i dont "practice" as often b/c of the pain

[skyler_m]

Kristin - Don't ask how I know this... but starting with a tongue there feels amazing. The pleasure you get tends to help relax everything. As others have said, work your way up from smaller insertions to larger insertions. You already know about lots of lube, so I won't reiterate that. If you ever need any help, just let me know. :D

[Jude30]

Don't follow Pinot's suggestion of alcohol. That is a HORRIBLE mistake a lot of people make. You need to be in 100% controll of your senses when you're engaged in anal play. Alcohol has a tendency to numb our senses and anal sex is one of those times when we need all our wits about us. You need to know when he's hurting you if he is, and he needs to have the sense to stop when you tell him to.

It honestly pisses me off when people make that suggestion, it's stupid and dangerous. Especially since the entire reason for this post was to elliviate pain.

[cowgirltease]

The more you do it the less pain there is. The hardest I ever came was him driving straight down in my ass with a vibe on my clit. You have to relax baby and he has to go slow until he's all the way in. I could actually feel him hitting my g-spot thru my ass. and GAWD does that feel good!

[OzKristin]

Don't follow Pinot's suggestion of alcohol. That is a HORRIBLE mistake a lot of people make. You need to be in 100% controll of your senses when you're engaged in anal play. Alcohol has a tendency to numb our senses and anal sex is one of those times when we need all our wits about us. You need to know when he's hurting you if he is, and he needs to have the sense to stop when you tell him to.

It honestly pisses me off when people make that suggestion, it's stupid and dangerous. Especially since the entire reason for this post was to elliviate pain.


While I am open to any suggestion, I know one of the times I felt most comfortable was when I was on a slight buzz from alcohol....I really do appreciate your opinions as well, all are welcomed :)

[OzKristin]

ah, and see that thanks to u guys.....just had some anal play while he was going down on me and it was awesome...slowly but surely its working whoo hoo thanks again!

[Steph]

It honestly pisses me off when people make that suggestion, it's stupid and dangerous. Especially since the entire reason for this post was to elliviate pain.

Whoa, calm down.

Alcohol can be a good thing but the rule always stands ~ you have to take it slow.

It's not like you should have a few shots and then hammer away.

A few drinks/glasses of wine/etc. can lower inhibitions and cause the person (& the anus) to relax.

[axe31]

the build up is all important the you start with all your faverite forplay
and when you get to giving oral you mix between the frount and the back
you could use a bath to relax an as you get out and dry slip in a lubed but
plug and walk around with it in you i have found this feels great i even went
to dinner once like this me and my date rushed our meal that night :spin:

[OzKristin]

the build up is all important the you start with all your faverite forplay
and when you get to giving oral you mix between the frount and the back
you could use a bath to relax an as you get out and dry slip in a lubed but
plug and walk around with it in you i have found this feels great i even went
to dinner once like this me and my date rushed our meal that night :spin:

yes, we're def. buying a new butt plug...
i just found i need to be so frickin' turned on that i'm bursting....but it works!all of the advice has really helped thank you so much!

[skyler_m]

damnit. you sure you don't need my assistance? :D

[OzKristin]

damnit. you sure you don't need my assistance? :D


oh um..yes as a matter of fact I do..there are a ....few techniques you need to try out on me...and....
ahh hell, I just need a good excuse to get you over here so I can see what you got ! ;)

[jentheredhead]

yes, we're def. buying a new butt plug...




i wonder if jude remembers walking through this part..........ummmm, i have to agree with what he said about having your mind in the right state. 100% arousal AND control of your body make anal good EVERYTIME.

[Teddy Bear]

Whats been said so far is very good.

Be sure to start small (1 finger, then 2, or a plug) and work up slowly to his cock.
Make a conscious effort to relax every muscle in your body, don't tense up.
Lube - lube and then a little more lube!

I've never used it but I've seen something called 'Anal Eze' or 'Ease'.
It says: "Benzocaine base helps desensitize and relax sphincter muscle".
Do a search and you'll find lotsa toy stores carry it.
You'll also find some people disagree with using it, just as alcohol.

You do whats right for you! And do it only for you, not to please your SO, but cause you want to! Relax and have fun. :) :D