Little Black Book

[osuche]

~!*~Just got done watching the movie...and it makes me want to ask~!*~





What do you know about your S/O's romantic past? Do you want to know more than you do?

Ever had the crazy desire to go through his/her "little black book" and call a few exes just to "make sure" that everything is over, and see why it *really* ended?

...And do you belive this information would be pertinent to your relationship with your S/O? Do previous relationships (in your opinion) tell you anything about your S/O's character or hangups?





~!*~ Enquiring minds want to know ~!*~

[maddy]

WOW! I just got done watching this movie too... how ironic is that?

[osuche]

WOW! I just got done watching this movie too... how ironic is that?


Great minds. So...I'll interview your S/O's exes if you interview mine. :spin:

(just kidding)

Did you like it?

[Stolen Kisses]

I think I know everything about my DH's past. What I didnt get from him I got from his roommates when we first met.

I know that I am the tallest girl/woman he has ever been with. And the one with the smallest boobs.


Good thread!




Barb

[Lilith]

Those things seemed important when we were first together. However after the first decade, what was before was moot.

[osuche]

Mr. Osuche and I met when I was 18 and he was 20. He didn't have very much of a past -- 2 serious girlfriends (which really weren't -- less than 5 months each) and only one previous lover. He and I went to her wedding together, the second year we dated. I never *needed* to stress over his past.

But I suspect that dating is considerably different for those who meet their S/Os later in life. There's more history, and more opportunity to pick up "baggage" along the way.

It's complicated, I think. You want someone who has loved before ('cause what's wrong with a man who is in his 30s or 40s and has never been in love?), so that they are seasoned. But you don't want them to have loved too much, where they are scarred.

You want them to have broken up with girlfriends for the "right" reasons. But what ARE the right reasons? And do they say something about his character?

<sigh> Maybe I am happy I met the right man early. Or maybe I over-analyze :D ~~ it's been known to happen! :D

Thoughts?

[Mark Vieth]

Well first up, I don't think there is a right or wrong way to break up with someone. There is a easy way and a hard way. (The hard way being where you get into a serious fight and everything comes out.)

Now onto the subject at hand. I don't think that we should ever delve into our S/O's past too much. The reason for this is, it can cause unwanted tension and put the r/ship under serious strain. In particular if you did ring any of their ex's, will they be forthcoming or just tell you that you are a nosey so and so?

There is no point in dragging the r/ship through the mud if you don't need to. If you are happy with your S/O then what does it matter about their past? Live and let live I say.

[Lilith]

There are some instances where someone's past relationships have had a profound affect on the person they have become. In those cases I think it's important to talk to your S/O about their past relationships. I never think it's ok to snoop behind their back but just as important as their relationship with their family, are the relationships they have had with other loves.

[Cheyanne]

In this day it is important to ask your S/O about his/her sexual past... as far as emotional - well that is something that will eventually come out as you each get to know one another.

I wouldn't call up an old girlfriend/wife...it isn't that important. I am going to learn about who I am with on my own without anyone else's perspective, which, btw could be entirely wrong for the current situation.

[LixyChick]

I know all about him and he knows all about me. We are the only two on the planet that know this much info about us. No one we know knows us better than we do. It was never sought in anger or jealousy...we just talk to one another so much that we were bound to touch on all relationship aspects sooner or later. If he ever had a question...he'd ask and I'd answer, and vice versa.

I know his heart as if it were mine...and again, vice versa!

[cherrypie7788]

Well I'm sure I don't know quite as much as I should about the person I'm interested in now, but I've never probed too much about that.

I wouldn't open his black book in fear of getting myself hurt.

[Oldfart]

For almost 30 years we were friends who walked often over our lunch hour, she cried on

my shoulder over every thing she needed to cry over.

She knows the lost and broken loves of my life, and is (now) friends with those I have

held close to my heart.

Sorry, tell me again, what is a secret?

[imaginewithme]

I want to know a little, but afraid to know too much. I get so jealous so easy.

I would be curious to check out the book, but know that I'd be the one to get hurt.

[wyndhy]

i think i probably know about half of it. it's something we talk about on occasion. i can't say i want to know more but i don't not want to know either, know what i mean? i've met two or three of his ex-es but i didn't have the urge to talk with them about him. if i ever did come across some sort of book i would definately go through it, though. it would be fun....like looking at old yeaarbooks. he doesn't have one, though... not that i know of anyway :D

i think we do get something from knowing about each other's pasts. it can add to our sex life in some ways, our home life in others. not profoundly but some. plus, it's just fun when we talk about old relationships, old times, before we knew each other. i learn new things about him, hear new stories.

[Lilith]

For almost 30 years we were friends who walked often over our lunch hour, she cried on

my shoulder over every thing she needed to cry over.

She knows the lost and broken loves of my life, and is (now) friends with those I have

held close to my heart.

Sorry, tell me again, what is a secret?

That you are romantic :swoon:

[Oldfart]

Lil,

You know how often I've dreamt of you swooning in my arms.

[Oldfart]

Lil,

How do you swoon in Dungeon gear, and where do you hide the whip?

[Lilith]

Lil,

How do you swoon in Dungeon gear, and where do you hide the whip?
You just let me worry about that;)

[Oldfart]

Hmmmm