Do you tell?

[jennaflower]

During my dinner with Murphy and Sugarsprinkles.... we discussed whether or not us "Pixies" share the exsistence of this place with those in our lives.

So.. my question for everyone tonight is...

Do you tell those in your life (spouses, lovers, friends, etc) about this place that we are all so fond of? If so, do you bring them here to share it with them? If not why? And if you don't tell them about this place... why?

I won't tell Sugar's or Murphy's answer (I will allow them to do that on there own)... but I will share my own... Altho I am currently not in a relationship.. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I would share this with a man that I cared about? Why? Well.. because I think sharing this with them would give them a more complete understanding of who I am... I do tell friends about this place... and none of my close friends are at all surprised that I feel so comfortable here. This is part of who I am.... the sexual part of me is more open here... and I have every intention of having that openness in my next relationship.

so your thoughts?

[Boru]

She has seen the addy in my "history" file and asked me once, "do you talk to these people"????
I said yes, and tried to explain but she would not listen any further. I regard that as the greatest lost opportunity we have ever had. I still come here, but delete the entry in the "history" file. I have no doubt that she knows I still come here, or I know she could easily find out if she wanted to. But at least I don't get anymore negative comments. I wish she would give me what I get here, openness, adventurousness, enthusiasm and inventiveness. <Sigh>

BORU

[jennaflower]

Boru...

I imagine that many do not know... and probably for good reason... many may fear having to choose between the two... and naturally the partner would win out... and then others may not tell out of fear of being ridiculed...

When I find myself in a relationship again... my partner will not be at all surprised to find that I come here (and to similar things)... if I am not comfortable sharing that part of myself with him I don't think he will be worth my time. Altho I can see how if finding this place after being in a relationship for any period of time it might be difficult to introduce them to the idea....

[mike10942]

Yes, of course my wife knows that I go here! I mean, it IS bookmarked on OUR computer. It isn't her "thing" to be here, but she has no problem with me being here. We were best friends before getting married, and still are after all these years!

[cuteglutes]

yes, my wife knows i go here. i showed her this site when i posted my pics. she thinks its pretty cool

[Sweet_Candy]

Hhhhhmmmmmm experience has taught me that when asked about places such as this and the people I associate with via the net that the end result will be a big guilt trip....

Therefore I don't believe in volunteering anything....lol. If asked I answer honestly and try to downplay it as much as possible.

LOL.... I've also learned don't smile at the computer screen the appearance of having too much fun is like waving a red flag. Better to mumble and cuss a lil so they think you're having the usual run about of trouble surfing and they seem much more content.

[axe31]

yes gary knows all about what i do here

[Clint]

The only person in my life that I can share Pixies with is my friend ASH, who is also a member. We do not discuss it in front of others and we try to keep it on the down low. Put it this way.....People in Trussville, Alabama are the biggest prudes that you will ever meet. It is a town of money and the people are entirely stuck on themselves.

*Clint

[skipthisone]

1st of all Jennaflower this is an excellent thread...and it has caused me much thought in the preceding days...To Tell...hmm...My S/O does not know about this site or that I visit it and I have mulled over telling her again and again, I wouldnt call my S/O a prude but I would say she is less than open minded...and frankly I have an addiction to the getaway this site gives and to be honest there are some fantastic souls here to talk with...so I ask myself everytime I get ready to tell her, what if she says she doesnt like me coming here, I would have to stop and I would miss it...I just dont know...

What do you think Jennaflower??

[jennaflower]

yep skip.. I imagine that many have the same reasoning for not sharing the information... and like I said.. if discovering this place AFTER the relationship has been established I imagine it would be very tough to share "Hey honey, I was horny today and during my search for stimulation on the net I came across this wonderful place. Come Look". I imagine that many significant others wouldn't be too comfortable with that.

However, I have to wonder... for those of you who don't share the info... is that okay? I mean... are you not giving your partner enough credit? They love you... right? They already (should) know what stimulates you and turns you on... and if that is the case.... do you really think they would be surprised that you enjoy this place? Is it that you are afraid of being forced to give this wonderful place up? Or just being ridiculed for your choice of stimulation.

Just being devils advocate here.... Maybe I am naive... maybe I still have the illusion that love means sharing those things that you enjoy... I just can't imagine not sharing this and similar things with a partner...

My last relationship started online.... he read one of my stories on a site and e-mailed me... so he knew up front the sexual being that I was and understood that I enjoyed places like this where I could express and explore my deepest sexual desires. Granted, it was unique in that he knew going in to the relationship... and often relationships don't start that way.

I am wishful (or stupid) enough to believe that in my next relationship... if he doesn't trust me enough to know that what I do here is harmless... if he isn't smart enough to know that this place helps to educate me and explore my deepest desires... if I don't love him enough to be honest with him and share it with him... then maybe I shouldn't be wasting my time with him to begin with. (Keep in mind that the reason I personally feel this way is because I lived in a completely sexless and loveless marriage and swore to myself that I would rather be lonely alone than lonely with someone else). I am in no way condeming anyones decision not to tell their significant other... I do understand why in some relationships that would be difficult and could result in damage.

Thus explains why I am alone... LOLOLOL Please remember I am acting as devils advocate here... LOL

[Grumble]

Well my ex knows I come here and she despised it from the start without even looking. She is virtually computer illiterate and is very distrustful of people that you cant see face to face fearing deception.

But the open mindedness and close friendships I have made here with totally genuine people has really made my life happier.

[Sweet_Candy]

Life is full of so many "shoulds" and I suppose if this were a perfect world there wouldn't be any question of sharing everything.

I've found for many people the net satisfies a need , whether it be sexual or intellectual or emotional.... I mean we're all online for something right. As time goes on people change and grow. Their opinions and interests change, and it's rare that two individuals will grow in the same direction in all things thru the years. It's only natural that people are drawn to spend time or talk to others who share their interests. Besides being with a carbon copy of yourself every day sounds so boring....lol

But often the knowledge that your partner is sharing part of themself with someone else can breed insecurity or fear especially in a partner who doesn't understand that interest. When a person feels their partner is drifting from them in their interests it can cause fear. When that interest is sexual or emotional it can cause the s/o to feel threatened in the relationship thereby causing waves of discontent, when all along the act itself was innocent. But for anyone who has pleaded their case to a partner and been met with a look of disgust or mistrust it becomes difficult to share as time goes by.

LOL... and I know for myself I am too easily guilted and for the sake of a relationship I have given up playgrounds in the past and stopped writing erotica online etc....

It just seems easier to do my thing and not advertise it so to speak.... I answer honestly when questioned but I no longer invite my s/o to come to my "playgrounds"

[Svlad Cjelli]

Of course my gf knows I come here.

I show her pics of the hot chicks!! :cool:

-SC

[Prophet Reality]

Well I know from my marriage, my ex did not understand that this was a way for me to express ideas and questions about matters that are of interest to me. Of course, she was not quite as open minded as I thought she was. But that was my own limitedsight on that one. But I feel, that the next woman of importance in my life will know all about this site and the friends that I have here. I hope she will understand that this is an outlet and sounding board, and not a replacement for what we will have. I hope that she will sit down next to me and get just as turned on as I do and then want to do something about it.

[jennaflower]

and once again Prophet... I am not surprised that you and I share a very similar opinion on this :)

[Sassy Rose]

jennaflower, this is a fantastic thread, thanks for starting it.

I am new here at the site and before I read this thread yesterday I had already added it into my favorites. I hadn't really thought about telling my S/O but if he had come across it and questioned me about it, I certainly would have brought him here and shared it with him.

However after reading your post, I decided why not just tell him then if he decides to enjoy it with me it would be that much better. So I did bring him here after he got home. He didn't say much about it so I don't know how much he'll be coming around but I know he respects me and my interests and therefore I know that he doesn't mind me enjoying myself while I'm here.

I will admit however that there was a time in our relationship when I wouldn't have even considered coming to a site like this and if I found out that he had, I would have been very hurt. You might say I used to be a bit of a sexual prude, something that definitely can't be said of me today. *LOL* I guess the reason I tell you this is that I can understand why many people would not inform their S/O about a site like this as it could damage the relationship. And to those people, I wish for them a sexual awakening similar to what I experienced as it has definitely improved my life :p

[jennaflower]

Hip Hip Horey!! For Sassy Rose..

I completely understand what you mean. I have gone thru a sexual awakening... a journey of sorts.. prior to that.. during my marriage.. I would never have understood this place.. :)

[Sassy Rose]

LOL Thanks jennaflower!

What a sweet journey it is too ;)

[rusti.1]

My wife doesn't share this site with me I wish she did but I don't know how to tell her. She may take things the Wrong way and get jelous over the post I have entered. If she did share the site she could help with my spelling

[GermanSteve]

I am normally not talking about this site because I was used to posting very private details about myself. Only a friend of mine that has already posted a bit around here, and my therapist have heard about it. I am enjoying very much the anonymity with at the same time the possibility of introducing myself to the other members for more contact.

[pje]

i haven't told her but i wouldn't hide it from her either.If she asked what things i do on here id tell her.

[lixnlix69]

My husband used to hide this, and other sites that he visited, from me. I don't know what sparked it, but one day he was sitting at the puter as I came down in the morning and this time he didn't hide it! He showed me all the sites he visited and then he told me to post something if I wanted to. I chose Pixies to post as it seemed the most friendly.

I don't know what he thought I would do back in the day when he used to hide this from me. I have always been open to new ideas and I am not a sexual prude by any means. I guess he just didn't want to share this part of him at the time. I am so happy he showed me this site. I feel at home here and have made many friends and I love to post and view pics. It's a sort of therapy for me. Very relaxing!!!

Great idea for a thread jenna!!! Ty for thinking it up!

Mrs. Lix

[Sugarsprinkles]

Originally posted by jennaflower

I won't tell Sugar's or Murphy's answer (I will allow them to do that on there own)... but I will share my own...
so your thoughts?

Thanks for starting this thread, Jenna! BTW, Murphy and I REALLY enjoyed meeting you, it was a blast!!

My answer is a bit convoluted.....I share SOME of what I find at Pixies with my husband, but NOT the sexual aspect of Pixie's with him. I assume that one day I will, but now that he knows that Murphy and I both frequent Pixies it will be a bit more difficult. I suppose my initial reluctance to share the sexual aspect with him is because of the reaction I expect that I'd get. I don't think he'd be angry, more like because of his "old fashioned" attitude I don't think he'd understand my involvement. And he's also a very private person and he wouldn't appreciate my sharing some of our "private" business with "strangers." Plus I just don't want to argue with him.

[me_carl]

My wife was always pretty open about sex, a couple of examples would be...We made love in the back yard of a church in broad daylight, and she gave me a subscription to Hustler for Christmas one year. However the last several years she has expressed that she has an absolute zero interst in sex. To top it off some woman that I had never met, except for in a general chat room, and to whom I had entrusted my general location, and real name too (bad move for a computer newbee) found my phone number in an internet seach, and called my house New years eve while we were out. She was drunk off her ass and said that she loved me. You might guess that was not one of my best nights. I think that she hopes that my desire for sex will completely diminish as her's has. Therefore I don't even dare bring up anything of a sexual nature.

[dicksbro]

I've told my wife about Pixies and how much fun it is, but she just isn't into computers and even has me send and receive emails with our kids. Even tried to get her just to sit along side when I'm on but with very little luck. Maybe one day??

[vampeyes]

I told my husband about Pixies back when I was just reading the stories.. he thought it was a great place and encouraged me to send in some of my work. Then when I found the message boards side of Pixies (I was so excited lol) I told him about it right away. He used to surf at Pixies a bit sometimes look at the pics with me and even joined under his own name eventually. He doesn't come to Pixies much because hes gone a lot but supports my being here. We have very different sexual drives (mine is stuck on OD while his is still in low somewhere lol) but I would never dream of hiding my involvement in a site such as Pixies or my cybering for that matter from him. He knows I am not about to go running out for a fling with someone I met online but its a great way to relieve some"tensions" for me.

[Sugarsprinkles]

Originally posted by vampeyes
I would never dream of hiding my involvement in a site such as Pixies or my cybering for that matter from him.

I really do envy those of you who are able to be so open with your S/O about Pixies and other sites like it. I believe a lot of my reluctance has to do with "age" and "upbringing". By that I mean I was raised 10-20 years earlier, or more than most of the other ladies here, and at that time (late 50s/early 60s) sex was not as openly discussed as it is today. Especially it was not talked about in front of or with "boys" if you were a "nice, Catholic girl". That doesn't mean that I have ever believed it was "bad" or "dirty", only that we were never taught or allowed to express or discuss sexual likes/dislikes or anything else regarding sex, in mixed company.
It was not discussed at home or school other than warnings to "keep your legs crossed" and you'd better not get "in trouble."

[vampeyes]

lol If I were with someone else it may be a problem.. my hubby was actually raised in a much stricter moral environment than I was. He is also older than I am so that tends to make him a bit more closeminded about things.. however I was always very open about sex (my family is weird) and being sexual so he knew going into the relationship that I was that way. I flirt a lot with people too in general and he has always been able to accept that. I have had relationships though where the other person had a problem with my openness and frankness where sex and sexuality was concerned so I think its mainly a matter of who I am with... So its totally understandable that some people are unable to share and sad but there are many people who I would not tell about this site cuz they would never understand .. hell one of my best friends to this day has no clue that I am bisexual sad but true (I have no clue how she could not see it LMAO) but she would never be able to accept my sexuality or a site like this.

[Divine]

I am going to answer simply because for some reason my mind feels dull right now. If I had a S/O I would definitely share or at least try to share it with her and if she got angry or upset then I suppose she isnt the person I thought she was.

[PantyFanatic]

I had to consider this since the thread was started. It broke down to the groups of people that touch my life. S/O, family, friends, and acquaintances. I’m too old (and I hope too smart) to have causes any more, so there’s no need to carry a banner about my personal life.:cool: So it’s a question of who I share Pixieville with.;)
Acquaintances (and even near friends), being the largest group, (sometimes TOO large), are the people I feel no need to share my bank balance or any other personal information with. I have no problem acknowledging this it’s not a bad thing that places like it exist.:D
Friends are people I count on my fingers and toes. I have mentioned that I visit such a place and enjoy the hell out of it. I would be comfortable with any of them coming here and knowing who I am. That’s why they’re my friends.
Our close family is pleased that each of us have a happy sex life and respect each others privacy.:)
An intimate lover is the only person that needs to know and share my citizenship here:p. As jennaflower said in the beginning, “because I think sharing this with them would give them a more complete understanding of who I am...:p:eek::p” is also very true for me. If we’re not sharing our complete selves, we’re with the wrong people.:rolleyes:

Just a thought.

[Devillishgirl]

My s/o knows that I come here...he's even surfed the site occasionally but he has his own internet things that he does. That's where it stands. I don't give him details because he doesn't ask...and if he did...wellllll depends on what and/or who he was asking about lol ;)

[Steph]

When I started coming here a few months ago, I was in a relationship with a guy who would have made fun of me and probably told half the people I work with about it in a completely distorted way if I'd mentioned it to him. It made me realize there was something missing because then I met my current boyfriend.

I had even posted a question in advice about the first guy before I met the second asking what you're willing to sacrifice for a relationship and the thing that started that thread was one night I went near his ass with my hand and he said, "I'm not a fag!" <sigh>

Tyler, my new guy, knows I have some good friendships here and we've made casual plans to spend some time Monday taking photos together for the first time. Also, he's unbelievably excited about the electric toothbrush secondary role I discovered here!! :) :) :)

So, pixies has really made me see the world differently. I'm in a conservative town and wouldn't dare tell anyone here but I've mentioned it to some friends from other places who aren't conservative.

PHEW! I think I've covered everything and I think this is my longest post ever!

[Irish]

My wife knows that I come here and the friendships;but knows nothing of the nudity!(Especially;the women)She is extremely
jealous;and wouldn't understand.She is open to me about anything but considers anything;that we do;between us as very
private.Its hard to understand;but I have been married to her for
37yrs;so I understand!As Sugarsprinkles said;most of the things
weren't discussed with OTHER people.I don't understand some of her views myself!She has never minded me masturbating;but doesn't want me thinking of anyone else!She says that when she masturbates;that she doesn't think of anything.I say impossible!!
If that's what she wants me to think;who cares? Irish

[Scarecrow]

My wife does know that I come here and I have shared some threads with her, but it is not here thing to serf the net. About the only thing she does is send and receive e-mail.