Too much information?

[Ironwood]

If you had a long-distance friend and playmate online, would you want to hear about it if they had an in-person sexual encounter? Would you want to know the details?

If you were the one who got lucky, would you want to tell them about it? Would you want to give them the specifics?

On one hand, it could be exciting, and lead to another good session of whatever it is that you do.

On the other, even in a playful online relationship, there is the possibility of jealousy and hurt feelings.

[jennaflower]

we have already discussed this :) But I will go ahead and express my opinion here as well.

I think that it depends heavily on the expectations of the friendships in question. IF, from the beginning there has been no expectations of the friendship evolving into anything serious that would filter over to the everyday "real" world, then I believe that the other party is probably going to be less jealous and condemning of the actions of the other. In fact, sharing the details with the other person may be a way for that person to show encouragement and support.

Personally, in the online friendships I have with my playmates.. I am the first to support them and even urge them to have sexual encounters in their "real" life.. and yes, I would love to hear the details tho I have never asked out of respect for them. If they want to share those with me.. that is wonderful.. but it is not expected.

Now.. if the shoe was on the other foot.. and I was the one being intimate with a man in my "real" life.. my sharing it with my online playmates would depend heavily on the opinion of the other guy involved. I am not the sort to kiss and tell.. but if a close playmate wanted to know the gist of things.. I would clue them in :)

[Ironwood]

And what if there were pictures?

[jennaflower]

hmmmm... we didn't discuss that. ;)

If pics were available.. I know that I would be more than hesitant to share those. First, because I wouldn't be the only one in them <grin>.. but also because I think that might be a little too much information for the online playmate. Not sure tho.. if the man in the pic didn't have a problem with it.. and the playmate really wanted to see it.. then I probably would.

[Ironwood]

That's one side. But would you want to see them in the act?

[jennaflower]

hmmm... not sure. It depends on how emotionally involved I am. If I have been completely honest with myself and am comfortable with the FACT that the online relationship wasn't going to evolve into anything more.. then yes.. maybe I would. IF however, I am more emotionally attached than I wanted to admit.. then no.. definetly not. It is all depending on how honest I am being with myself..

[Ironwood]

Since we did discuss some of this before, that's about what I expected you to say.

I wonder if anyone else has an opinion? (Hint, hint.)

[Thinker]

Well I never took any online relationships I have been in seriously (nor has the other person) so you should have "don't care" in that poll as well.

[Steph]

I'd like to know only if we had decided to be monogamous. I wouldn't want to see photos in that case!

[Booger]

I real not sure I've never had an online relationship like that of a sexual nature. I guess i all depends on how serious it was. If it was a serious relationship I wouldn't want to know. but if it was just one for fun I would have no problem. as far as pics go I did have an exgirl friend who had some vidoes of her and her ex that real turn me on.

[Lilith]

Funny.... I was just skirting these issues myself....... I tell you,, some people can handle the info and some can not. Typically I am an evil, posessed, jealous, psycho bitch who is much better off not knowing:p

but I think that it really depends on the boundaries of the cyber relationship and the personalities of those involved. It also depends on whether or not the people involved place expectations or demands on each other...... or are they just friends..... or are they fuck budddies????? Too complex....tread lightly;)

[Ando3]

You're just a wus Lilith!!

I have had things go both ways...... some wanted details others didnt want to know a thing. I ALWAYS want details!!! The more and the lewder the better!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any one care to share?

LOL

[Reesa]

I'm going to agree with Lillith on this one; I am a possessive one, too. I have always said that "I don't share my toys." But with the cyber stuff, that is so different. It's fun, but on so many levels not real. And that's the fun of it. Even with the boundaries set from the beginning (cyber or not), I have found that one person always seems to get a little more serious than the other, and it can get weird.

[LixyChick]

I read this thread this morning and didn't have to time to answer in my true (hey! don't think I don't know I am a jabber jaw!) feelings. In an online relationship I lay my feelings on the line and I hope that things don't become mind games! I can be the jealous type in certain situations but in everyday life I am truly not the jealous type. I don't think I would appreciate hearing my cyber lover explain the details of a recent "in person" encounter. Only because...and here's where the jealousy comes in...I would have wanted to give that physical personal pleasure and I couldn't be there for him! It wouldn't bother me that he had actual physical sex.....the part that would bother me is that it wasn't with me! I know.....this doesn't make sense........but I really can't explian it any better! And as to the other part of the question......NO.....I never share my own personal "in person" sex life with my online lover! I have talked (in general without too many details) about different types of sexual encounters........but never specifics! I just don't see how it could add anything to an online relationship. These relationships are hard enough without adding another dimension!

[Coach Knight]

Lixy, you offered a very good response BTW.

As for where I stand, well, I am not sure. This whole online thing can get sticky and strange sometimes. It all depends like Lil said above on the guidelines and boundries that have been set up. Even once those boundries have supposedly been set up, the issue is still a little unnerving.

We all know we have lives outside of this place or outside of the internet.

Again sometimes you even have to go back to the "Is it cheating" thread for some of the answers. I guess if it is truly only an online relationship and there are no (real) thoughts in either parties heads about an actual IRL hook up, then I suppose it should not matter if the other person slept with someone else in their real life.

However, if there is always a discussion about getting together and planning such a meeting, then maybe one would not want to know. But if there is the notion of an actual encounter, then those two should get on with it and get together. We all hide some part of ourselves from others here and if there is never that actual meeting, then it is truly not a serious relationship. Hence the online lover may feel a little uncomfortable about the news but to be actually mad about it or very jealous is not a good thing because the computer separates both people and IRL you are face to face, cheek to cheek, body to body, one on one.

Well that is just my opinion. Actually I don't know if I offered an opinion or if I just babbled on aimlessly but such is the nature with this online/cyber/internet/virtual world we share here.

*Deep breath

-CK

[skipthisone]

Everyone here is talking about boundries or ground rules and I think that is an important part, in fact probably a must for anyone you are talking to more than once or twice in private...

...Even then i say be careful lines, thoughts, desires all get blurry when it comes to matters of the loins or heart.

[Coach Knight]

There is a line int All the President's Men:

"When you've got them by the short ones, their hearts and minds will follow."

CK

[skipthisone]

Damn i love it when you do movie quotes CK