Lovediva
10-04-2002, 10:29 AM
THE TEN SEX POSITIONS OF SCIENCE FICTION
10. The Prothoracic Pheremone Rub. This position is primarily used by the Jarada insectoid people.
9. Alien Autopsy. Probe EVERYWHERE.
8. Deep Impact. Watch the clip that everybody shows on all the previews, the meteor crashin' inta the Earth's atmosphere. You get the picture.
7. The Picard Maneuver. Nah, I don't know what chicks see in him either, but apparently there's somethin' about straightenin' your shirt just so that makes some people wanna rip it right off. The position involves the guy doin' a lot of sittin' in a chair.
6. Vulcan Nerve Pinch. Remember how the Vulcans were supposed to be all violent and passionate before they got cool and logical? Remember how the man still gets violent and passionate when they have sex, and the women get to be petty temptresses just like in real life? Man engulfs woman all over an woman grins and bares it, though usually not in that order.
5. The Ten-Sider. Roll around until ya crystallize inta a decahedron. Geometric sex really turns on math geeks.
4. The Kirk Maneuver. The thing to remember when you imitate Kirk is that yer partner has a kind of anorexia for oxygen. They need a lot more oxygen than they're gettin', but they been brought up to hate oxygen. So you're gonna have to resuscitate 'em, by force if necessary. Hey, that's why they call him "Kirk the Smirk."
3. Two Romulans Decloaking Off The Port Bow. Well, this position is pretty self-explanatory.
2. Close Encounter of the 69th Kind. A lot like your standard 69 sex, but it also involves the eyes.
1. Dueling Lightsabers. Strictly for gay couples... or lesbos with strap-ons.
10. The Prothoracic Pheremone Rub. This position is primarily used by the Jarada insectoid people.
9. Alien Autopsy. Probe EVERYWHERE.
8. Deep Impact. Watch the clip that everybody shows on all the previews, the meteor crashin' inta the Earth's atmosphere. You get the picture.
7. The Picard Maneuver. Nah, I don't know what chicks see in him either, but apparently there's somethin' about straightenin' your shirt just so that makes some people wanna rip it right off. The position involves the guy doin' a lot of sittin' in a chair.
6. Vulcan Nerve Pinch. Remember how the Vulcans were supposed to be all violent and passionate before they got cool and logical? Remember how the man still gets violent and passionate when they have sex, and the women get to be petty temptresses just like in real life? Man engulfs woman all over an woman grins and bares it, though usually not in that order.
5. The Ten-Sider. Roll around until ya crystallize inta a decahedron. Geometric sex really turns on math geeks.
4. The Kirk Maneuver. The thing to remember when you imitate Kirk is that yer partner has a kind of anorexia for oxygen. They need a lot more oxygen than they're gettin', but they been brought up to hate oxygen. So you're gonna have to resuscitate 'em, by force if necessary. Hey, that's why they call him "Kirk the Smirk."
3. Two Romulans Decloaking Off The Port Bow. Well, this position is pretty self-explanatory.
2. Close Encounter of the 69th Kind. A lot like your standard 69 sex, but it also involves the eyes.
1. Dueling Lightsabers. Strictly for gay couples... or lesbos with strap-ons.