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Uncle Silky 08-07-2002 12:12 AM

"So I tried a little splashy-splashy. And she splashy-splashied back. Oh, fuckin' hell, splashy-splashy back. So I turned to swim away in a sort of chase me-chase me, then maybe underwater, a little sexy-sexy... and I swam like a boy being chased by a sharky-sharky!"

Eros 08-07-2002 12:22 AM

If you've never seen an elephant ski..then you've never been on acid!

Uncle Silky 08-07-2002 12:23 AM

"There are two looks on a snowboard: one is cool, the other is DEAD!"

Eros 08-07-2002 12:29 AM

The NRA says "Guns don't kill people, people kill people."
I think the gun helps. Just standing there pointing you finger and saying BANG doesn't quite cut it.

Uncle Silky 08-07-2002 12:30 AM

"You'd hafta be really dodgy on the heart for that to work."

Eros 08-07-2002 12:34 AM

I wanna work in a sewer, discover sewage that NO ones ever discovered before and pile it on my head. Climb to the surface and sell my self to an art gallery.

Eros 08-07-2002 12:36 AM

And Hitler wound up in a ditch, covered in Petrol on fire. That's fun...I mean funNY, cause he was a mass murdering fuckhead.

Uncle Silky 08-07-2002 12:38 AM

"I like my women like I like my coffee: hot... and with a spoon in them."

Uncle Silky 08-07-2002 12:39 AM

"I can't get the fuckin' trees-- damn, I will kill everyone!"

Eros 08-07-2002 12:48 AM

There are different levels of murder why can't there be different levels of perjury. Perjury 1 is like saying there was no holocaust when 10 million people died, and perjury 9 is like when you said you shagged someone you didn't.

Eros 08-07-2002 12:50 AM

Before Stonehenge there was woodhenge and strawhenge, but a big bad wolf came and blew it down and 3 little pigs were relocated to the projects.

Uncle Silky 08-07-2002 12:52 AM

"The druids were early transvestites; long white robes, just never quite got their shaving together."

Eros 08-07-2002 12:54 AM

What have you been reading? "The Gospel According to St. Bastard?"

Uncle Silky 08-07-2002 12:57 AM

"Disneyland wanted to build a Magic Kingdom in London. 'Uh, better make it a bit bigger. They've actually got them here... and they're not made of plastic.'."

Uncle Silky 08-07-2002 01:00 AM

"I will start a new religion... the Psychotic Bastard religion."

"Why not call it Church of England?"

"Church of England... yes, I like it. Even though I am Scottish myself."


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