A man takes the day off work and
decides to go out golfing
He is on the second hole when he
notices a frog sitting next to
the green.

He thinks nothing of it and is
about to shoot when he
hears, Ribbit 9 Iron."

The man looks around and doesn't
see anyone. Again, he
hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks
at the frog and decides to
prove the frog wrong, puts the
club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom!

He hits it 10 inches from the
cup. He is shocked. He says
to the frog, "Wow that's amazing.
You must be a lucky frog, eh?

The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog
with him to the next hole.

"What do you think frog?" the
man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and,
Boom! Hole in one. The
man is befuddled and doesn't know
what to say. By the end
of the day, the man golfed the
best game of golf in his life and
asks the frog, "OK where to next?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas.
" They go to Las Vegas
and the guy says, "OK frog, now
what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon
approaching the roulette table, The man
asks, "What do you think I should
bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit
$3000, black 6."

Now, this is a
million-to-one shot to win, but
after the golf game the man
figures what the heck.

Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table

The man takes his winnings and
buys the best room in the
hotel. He sits the frog down and
says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you.
You've won me all this money and
I am forever grateful."

The frog replies,
"Ribbit KissMe."He figures why not,
since after all the frog did for
him, he deserves it. With a
kiss, the frog turns into a
gorgeous 15-year-old girl.

"And that, your honor, is how the girl
ended up in my room. So help me God
or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."

A man was sitting in a bar, clearly distraught.

The bartender asked him what the matter was.

He loked at the barman and said,

"January 19th my mother died, leaving me $75,000."

"Rough." said the barman.

"February 16th, my favourite aunt died, leaving me $100,000."

"Bad." said the barkeep.

"March my father died, leaving me the house and a million bucks."

"Very rough, two parents in three months."

"This month, nothing!"

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old
>pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.
>
>One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat
>down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
>
>"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,"
>said one boy.
>
>Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
>
>Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle.
>As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the
>cemetery.
>
>He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard,
>"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
>
>He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike
>and rode off.
>
>Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane,
>hobbling along.
>
>"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe
>what I heard!
>
>Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up
>the souls."
>
>The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for
>me to walk."
>
>When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to
>the cemetery.
>
>Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for
>me. One for you, one for me."
>
>The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling' me
>the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."
>
>Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet
>were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped
>the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they
>tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
>
>At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all, so
>
>let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.
>
>They say the old man made it back to town a full 5
>minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

PETS
>>
>>To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
>>
>>Dear Dogs and Cats,
>>
>>The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
>>dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
>>the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
>>your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
>>slightest.
>>
>>The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
>>to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
>>faster than you can run.
>>
>>I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
>>this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
>>comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
>>It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to
>>the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
>>and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing
>>but sarcasm.
>>
>>For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
>>some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
>>necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
>>the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door
>>I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or
>>feline attendance is not required.
>>
>>The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I
>>cannot stress this enough!
>>
>>To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
>>front door:
>>
>>To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
>>
>>1. They live here. You don't.
>>2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture!
>>(That's why they call it "fur"nature.)
>>3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
>>4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
>>short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
>>
>>Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
>>1. Eat less
>>2. Don't ask for money all the time
>>3 Are easier to train
>>4. Normally come when called
>>5. Never ask to drive the car
>>6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
>>7. Don't smoke or drink
>>8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
>>9. Don't want to wear your clothes
>>10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.
>>
>>
>>And finally,
>>
>>
>>11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
>>

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

Marty looks around the room and sees that it's in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough, there IS a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well Dad, you came home after 3 AM , drunk and delirious! Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door!"

Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"

A self-induced hangover - $100.00
Broken furniture - $200.00
Breakfast - $10.00
Saying the right thing “PRICELESS"

Chinese Laundry
>
>
>A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was
>done at the
>
>local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and
>put it in the bag
>
>with the next collection of soiled clothes :
>
>"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"
>
>She got the clean laundry back, and was still
>dissatisfied with the
>
>results, so the following week she enclosed
>another note:
>
>"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"
>
>The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and
>when her
>
>clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note
>from HIM:
>
>"I USE PLENTY SOAP
> ON PANTIES!!!
>
>USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!"

IowaMan & NutWorld in 50 years
 

Two 90-year-old men, IowaMan and NutWorld, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, IowaMan visits him everyday. One day, IowaMan says, "NutWorld, we both loved baseball all our lives and we played minor league ball together for so many years. Please do me one favor. When you get to Heaven, somehow, you must let me know if there's baseball there."

NutWorld looks up at IowaMan from his death bed," IowaMan, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you."

Shortly after that, NutWorld passes on.

At midnight, a couple of nights later, IowaMan is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him," IowaMan. IowaMan."
"Who is it"? asks IowaMan, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it"?
"IowaMan, it's me, NutWorld."
"You're not NutWorld. NutWorld just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, NutWorld," insists the voice."
"NutWorld! Where are you"?
"In Heaven," replies NutWorld. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," says IowaMan.
"The good news," NutWorld says "is that there's baseball in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too.:) Better than that, we're all young again.:) Better still, it's always Spring time and it never rains or snows.:) And best of all, we can play baseball all we want and we never get tired.":)

"That's fantastic," says IowaMan.:D "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So, what's the bad news"?
"You're pitching Tuesday.":yikes:

But I've got to wait for 50 years? :(

This coming Tuesday would fit my schedule better. :p

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts,
and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up
and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car

WOW!, all theses years and I've been introducing myself using the wrong name. :rofl:

Sorry I didn't get the "1" in there. :rofl:
I won't do that again. ;)












:rolleyes:

That wasn't what I was referring to....I'd just as-soon not HAVE the "1". :)

???? :confused:

This what you were meaning nutworld? ;)

:o I messed that ALL up.
:faint:

I won't do that again. :gb:


.... and then I posted it on the joke thread instead of in the editing category.
:banghead:

I won't do that again either. :cool:










;)

Yes. You will.

:roflmao:

DM

Two old ladies ...
 

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drug store.

The next day,Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

Maude: "Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

This Is AMAZING!!!
Until now I never fully understood how to tell the difference between Male and Female Birds.



I always thought it had to be determined surgically.

Until Now.

Which of The Two Birds Is a Female??? The attached image are of Two Birds.





Study them closely...See If You Can Spot Which of The Two Is The Female.



It can be done.





Even by one with limited bird watching skills.

Still another blonde joke ...
 

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds" . . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.

One day a little cat was walking through the park when he came across a
pond. He peered into the pond and noticed that at the bottom of the pond
there was a little cocktail sausage. The cat was feeling quite peckish so as
the water wasn't that deep he reached in with his little paw.The cat hooked
the sausage out and ate it.

The next day the cat was walking through the park again and he peered into
the pond again there was another sausage but this time it was a normal sized
one so the cat reached in but this time he had to put his whole arm into the
pond.The cat hooked the sausage out and ate it.

The next day the cat looked into the pond and found an enormous Cumberland sausage at the bottom of the pond it looked so delicious, but it was so huge that he had to actually put the whole of his body into the pond to get the sausage. He ate it and found it very tasty!

THE MORAL OF THE STORY.....
(ur gonna love this)





The bigger the Sausage - the wetter the Pussy !!!!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
knows I'm smarter than her.

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years.
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was
pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum
of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed
in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the
child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was
born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write
"spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to
begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it " he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and
fainted.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with
meatballs, one without."

^^^^ :roflmao:

I Owe My Mother

1. *My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE*.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

2. *My mother taught me RELIGION*.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. *My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL*.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. *My mother taught me LOGIC*.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. *My mother taught me MORE LOGIC*.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. *My mother taught me FORESIGHT*.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. *My mother taught me IRONY*.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. *My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS*.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. *My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM*.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. *My mother taught me about STAMINA*.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. *My mother taught me about WEATHER*.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. *My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY*.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. *My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE*.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. *My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION*.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. *My mother taught me about ENVY*.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who dont have wonderful parents like you do."

16. *My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION*.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. *My mother taught me about RECEIVING*.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. *My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE*.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. *My mother taught me ESP*.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. *My mother taught me HUMOR*.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. *My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT*.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. *My mother taught me GENETICS*.
"You're just like your father."

23. *My mother taught me about my ROOTS*.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. *My mother taught me WISDOM*.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:
25. *My mother taught me about JUSTICE*.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."[/LEFT]

LOL, txgrneyes. Those are terrific (and very true). Mom was a smart one. :boink:

Things you'll never hear from a woman:


You know, I've been complaining a lot lately.
I don't blame you for ignoring me.

The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too,
I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed.
If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

Bar food again! Kick ass!

I liked that wedding even more than ours.
Your ex-girlfriend has class.

That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am.
Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times,
then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

Honey, come here!
Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass.

My mother is going to take care of the tab,
so order another round for you and your friends.

I'm so happy with my new hairstyle.
I don't think I'll ever change it again.

Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.
You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya big silly!

You are so much smarter than my father.

If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

You're so sexy when you're hung over.

I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

Let's subscribe to Hustler.

I'll be out painting the house.

I love it when you ride your Harley,
I just wish you had more time to ride.

Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

Your mother is way better than mine.

Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing
and buy yourself something.

Listen, I make enough money for the both of us,
why don't you retire?

Look! My ass is fatter than yours!

Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.

I've heard of women who would actually say something like that, except that they would substitute "we" for "you"...has something to do with that Harley rumbling between their legs like a giant gasoline-powered vibrator...

Not intending to pick apart your post, IM, the rest was spot on...& FAH!

Fun loving stuffed animals....

http://www.zippyvideos.com/58898067283845/blaupunkt/

Love that video! :rofl:

Shame on them, behaving like people.

A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly, the woman reached over and sliced the man's penis off.

Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.

Driving behind the couple was a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, and then flew off. The little girl said to her daddy "what the heck was that?" Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, "It....it was only a bug, Honey."

The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment said....

"Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"

*opps* LOL

Just a cockroach, dear one.

This is an old one and it hurts me to write it but.................

Message on the PA system in a Chicago area mall:

"Would the lady who left her nine children at Wrigley Field please return ASAP to pick them up!

They're beating the Cubs 15-0 in the 5th inning."

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50
feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash.

Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached
the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this.

Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

LOL^^^^^^^^^^^.

Subject: 63 and pregnant

A NEW DOCTOR...WHO DOESN'T RUN A BUNCH OF EXPENSIVE TESTS


A woman went to the GP's group, where she was seen by a young, new doctor.
After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was
pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening
to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room.

Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.

"What's the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded.
"This woman is 63 years old , she has two grown children and several
grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said:

"Does she still have the hiccups?"

The Bathtub Test

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"


DID YOU PASS, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?

Scoot on over dear, I'm a joinin' ya. :D

Beware, I've been told I snore.

Not if we don't let you get to sleep.