CIRCUMCISED...THIS IS PRICELESS
>>
>>A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
>>
>>Squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.
She
>>went
>>
>>back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed And
>>whispered that
>>
>>he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The
>>teacher told
>>
>>him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his
mother
>>and ask
>>
>>her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class.
>>Suddenly,
>>
>>there was a commotion at the back of the room.She went back To
>>investigate only
>>
>>to find him sitting at his desk with his weenie hanging out. "I
thought
>>I told
>>
>>you to call your mom!" she said. "I did," he said, "And she told me
that
>>if I
>>
>>could stick it out till Noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."
>>
>>KIDS - DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THEM???
>>
>>

OMFG!!!!! :roflmao:

Early advertising?

Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"
>
>"Yes. What can I do for you?"
>
>"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith.... He's hidin'
>marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside
>them logs, but he's hidin' it there."
>
>"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
>
>The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They
>search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open
>every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and
>leave.
>
>Shortly,the phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here's
>Floyd.... did the Sheriff come?"
>
>"Yeah!"
>
>"Did they chop your firewo od?"
>
>"Yep!"
>
>"Happy Birthday, buddy!"
>
>(Rednecks know how to Git-R-Dun)
>
>

--
Have a Great Day!

A bloke's wife goes missing while on a diving holidaying on the West
Australian coast. He spends a terrible night wondering what could have
happened to her.

Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a
couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some
really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news".

"Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first?"

The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry pal, but your wife is dead. Young
Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in
the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was
dead."

The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit
of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks
what the good news is.

The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few
really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so
we've brought you your share." He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a
couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.

"Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and
all that......

So what's the other possible good news?

"Well", the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill
here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over
there and pull her up again!

New Exercise Routine
 

Exercise Routine

If you're over 50, you might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient . It may be too strenuous for some.


Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!



SCROLL DOWN..............





























































































NOW SCROLL UP ...


That's enough for the first day. Great job. :thumbs:

:line: :line:

Have a glass of wine.

LOL^^^^ glad I'm not 50 yet.

*whew* that wore me out...

that's even more strenuous than "lather, rinse, repeat"

You're a hard taskmaster, jseal.

She spent the first day packing her personal belongings into boxes,
crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and
collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room
and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the
hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to
set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days.
In the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit...

Repairmen refused to work in the house... The maid quit...

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could
not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually, even the local Realtors refused to return
their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going.

She told him she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to
reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... but only
if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the
hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

Sad.

OMG. :roflmao:

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to
>>consummate
>>their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a
>>confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
>>
>>The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
>>
>>The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
>>
>>"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
>>
>>"Tiger Woods."
>>
>>"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
>>
>>"Yeah."
>>
>>"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed
>>with him."
>>
>>The husband and wife then make passionate love.
>>
>>When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
>>
>>"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
>>
>>The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and
get
>>something to eat."
>>
>>"Tiger wouldn't do that."
>>
>>"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
>>
>>"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
>>
>>The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a
>>second time.
>>
>>When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what
are
>>you doing?" she asks.
>>
>>The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room
service
>>to get something to eat."
>>
>>"Tiger wouldn't do that."
>>
>>"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
>>
>>"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
>>
>>The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one
more
>>time.
>>
>>When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the
>>phone
>>and starts to dial.
>>
>>The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
>>
>>"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this
damn
>>hole."
>>

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college
graduation.


They got drunk, and woke up in jail only to find that they are to be executed
in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.


The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words.
She says, I just graduated from Brigham Young University and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."
They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees; beg for her forgiveness, and release her!


The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."
They throw the switch and, again, nothing happens.
Again, they all immediately fall to their knees; beg for her forgiveness, and release her!


The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Kentucky and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now...





y'all ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in.

Omg!!!!

Oil Crisis
 

A lot of folks can't understand how we came
to have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located in
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
and
Texas
~~~
Our
DIPSTICKS
are located in
Washington,DC !!!
Any Questions ???

:rofl: How very true.

A new, "You know you're a redneck when ... "
 

"You know you're a redneck when...... "


1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a! custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

^^^^ :roflmao:

Florida State Trooper
 

A Florida State Trooper stops a man for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the Trooper (after being told to remain in the car). The violator demands to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

So the Trooper calmly tells him of the red light violation.

The "Motorist" instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the Troopers ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The Trooper, being a professional, takes it all in stride, figuring "Battleship Mouth and Rowboat Ass".

The tirade goes on without the Trooper saying anything. When he gets done with printing the citation he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the citation. He then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature.

The guy signs the citation angrily, tearing the paper, and when presented his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for. The officer then removes his mirror sunglasses , gets in the middle of the guys face and says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember you're an Asshole!"

Three months later they are in court. The "Violator" has such a bad record he is about to lose his license and has hired an attorney to represent him. On the stand the Trooper testifies to seeing the man run the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks, "Trooper. Is this a reasonable facsimile of the citation you issued my client?"

Trooper responds, "Yes sir, this is the defendants copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.

Attorney: "Trooper, is there any particular marking or notation on this citation you don't normally make?"

Trooper: "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH", underlined."

Attorney: What does the AH stand for, Trooper?

Trooper: "Aggressive and Hostile Sir"

Attorney: "Aggressive and hostile?"

Trooper: "Yes Sir?"

Attorney: "Trooper, Are you sure it doesn't stand for Asshole?"

Trooper: "Well Sir, You know your client better than I do!"

Well put.

Lol

Just got a paper pile with "Wit and wisdom from Military Manuals".

"When the pin is pulled, Mr Grenade is not your friend."

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

"Try to look unimportant, they may be running low on ammo."

I'm sure I've read this one before so it could be a repost but what the hell, it's cute. Thanks to a Pixie on hiatus for sending it to me. ;)


Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed
someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and
Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.

Darryl arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet. Darryl
said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over, and Darryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thought this was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to
identify the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well
burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

"What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.

"Yup, I've never seen 'em, but everyone knew he had two assholes. Every
time we went to town, folks would say, "Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.

As A Woman Passes Her Daughter's Closed Bedroom Door, She Heard A Strange Buzzing Noise Coming From Within. Opening The Door, She Observed Her Daughter Giving Herself A Real Workout With A Vibrator. Shocked, She Asked: "what In The World Are You Doing?"

The Daughter Replied: "mom, I'm Thirty-five Years Old, Unmarried, And This Thing Is About As Close As I'll Ever Get To A Husband. Please, Go Away And Leave Me Alone."

The Next Day, The Girl's Father Heard The Same Buzz Coming From The Other Side Of The Closed Bedroom Door. Upon Entering The Room, He Observed His Daughter Making Passionate Love To Her Vibrator. To His Query As To What She Was Doing, The Daughter Said: "dad I'm Thirty-five, Unmarried, And This Thing Is About As Close As I'll Ever Get To A Husband. Please, Go Away And Leave Me Alone."

A Couple Days Later, The Wife Came Home ! From A Shopping Trip, Placed The Groceries On The Kitchen Counter, And Heard That Buzzing Noise Coming From, Of All Places, The Living Room. She Entered That Area And Observed Her Husband Sitting On The Couch, Downing A Cold Beer, And Staring At The Tv. The Vibrator Was Next To Him On The Couch, Buzzing Like Crazy. The Wife Aked: "what The Hell Are You Doing?"

The Husband Replied: "i'm Watching Football With My Son-in-law."

:d

Lessons in Logic
 

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.

One should love animals. They are so tasty. (Sorry to any vegetarians out there for that one!)

Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term.... it brings so many relatives.

"Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep.

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning

"Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk

"Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So.. why learn.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........


Hope you liked at least some of these!

DM

:roflmao: I love this thread! :roflmao:

:roflmao:

A mother took her five-year-old son with her
to the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a
business suit complete with pager.
As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly,
"Gee, she's fat!"
The mother bent down and whispered in
the little boys ear to be quiet.
A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread
his hands as far as they would go and announced;
"I'll bet her butt is this wide!"
The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy.
The mother gave him a good telling off,
and told him to be quiet.
After a brief lull,
the large woman reached the front of the line.
Just then, her pager begin to emit a
beep, beep,beep.
The little boy yells out,
"Run for your life, she's backing up!!

That ^^^^^^ is an oldie but a goodie!!!

Flat Tire
 

A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day.

So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

Takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers...

Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up.

It wasn't very long before a police car arrives.

The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"

"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.

"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!" asks the Officer...

"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!" she replied.

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse
 

You cannot post

"Thou >Shalt Not Steal,"
"Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,"
and
"Thou Shall Not Lie"

in a building full of >lawyers, judges and politicians.

It creates a hostile work environment.

Broken Lawn Mower
 

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf, the house, always
something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away
with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time
and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came
out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, when you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.

The doctors say I will most likely walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Moral to this story:

Marriage is a relationship, in which one person is always right ...

... and the other is the husband.

A lesson to the wise - or not-so-wise
 

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.

He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, 'I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.

I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' License plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper Sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.



Naturally... I assumed you had stolen the car.'

Why God Created Children
 

(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was,

"DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you? " said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not! "

"Did too! "

"DID NOT! "

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Quick, send this on to ten people within the next five minutes. Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing

DM

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, '"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.
No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea." Replied the widow, "I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . please advise." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket . They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."
I said, "Well, then why are you crying?" She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.

I said, "Well, why are you crying?" She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m." I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?" She said, "I can't remember where I live!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

A Muslim Indian man was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London to Melbourne, Australia.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Aussie asked for a rum and coke, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Aussie handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, mate. I didn't know we had a choice."
************************************************** ********

That same Muslim Indian man was sitting in the airport earlier next to an
American Indian and an American cowboy. The American Indian pipes up with

"My people were once many but now they are few"

The Muslim Indian says

"Well my people once were few and now they are many, why do you suppose that is ?"

And the cowboy butts in,

"That's cause we ain't played cowboys and muslims yet...... but it's a comin!"