"Two birds with one stone"(Not PC-funny!)
 

This is the best solution to reducing our use of gasoline I've heard.

George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline
Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use..... The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants!
That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down.....
Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the Border....
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq ...
Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military.....
Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it.....
After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country......
He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot......
This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves......
If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.....
Problem solved..... Irish :)

I've been removing snow,defrosting my water & fixing my snowblower all day!
I just came inside & this was in my e-mails!Even frozen,it struck me as funny!
Irish

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/carlingas.asp

AS soon as I read this I knew it wasn't Carlin. It doesn't sound like something he would say first off it sounds like he's agreeing with Bush ans second Carlin isn't the type to jump on the band wagon of the latest political BS.

I love how every time someone wants to say something as dumbassed (realizing that Irish is not the author) as this they say Carlin said it. What is that doing to Carlin's career? He used to be funny as hell but with all this idiotic internet rumor trash more people are getting a very wrong picture. From all the conservative stuff they attribute to him people will 1) think he agrees with this administration 2) is a racist, homophobe, sexist, etc. and 3) is not the least bit funny.

Another popular figure that has to deal with this is Andy Rooney. I just wonder why people picked them of all the people in the world?????? It must be the most awful back-handed compliment imaginable.

Why are you still up north??? It's cold there. Are you guys heading down here this winter?

We're driving to our place in Fla.(weather permitting)on the week after Christmas.Our children & Grandchildren are still in NH.I like it better here & my
wife likes it better in Fla!I saw my best friend this summer(His wifes parents,
still live in NH.)They moved to Hobe Sound Fla.He said it best.When you've
lived in New England,most of your life,believe it or not,you miss the climate
changes.I paid off the mortgages on my NH property & my Fla home because I
foresee a lot more taxes after the next election & living on a fixed income now,(wife retired,I'm semi-retired)I don't foresee us having more money.We've
discussed it & if we have to sell one place ,it will probably,be the one in Fla.
Fla is nice in the winter but driving back & forth is getting old already. Irish
P.S.My friend said,if possible,don't sell your NH home,I did & now we have
noplace to move back to! :huh:

One other person I've seen a lot of thing like this is Paul Harvey

If I recall right, Kurt Vonnegut was supposed to - but did not actually - have given the commencement speech at MIT in 1997 which was supposed to have opened "Wear Sunscreen …”