My web sites "Dayplayer Friends" and "Dayplayer Erotic Stories", (links below) are about sharing wives. You and your husband should join them and you can learn a lot more about your problem.
There are 3 main things that I believe makes it work and that is Love, Trust and Communications with each other.
Love; You must have love for your mate and them for you. This is the person that you give your love to, the others in your life you just give them sex.
Trust; You must have trust in each other that they will be honest with you about the feeling they have for others in their live and everything id open for discussions. Trust that they will be open with themselves and you.
Communications; You should have an open line of communications between you and how and when to talk to the other.

There is a lot more to it that takes time to learn.

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