There have been some excellent threads on this topic.

Have a look at them.

Read and check what you're doing can lead to orgasm, some

things feel good without the extra kick.

Some people are unable to masturbate for the same reason

it is very hard to tickle yourself. Brain knows you're doing it.

Can hubby bring you to orgasm with his fingers?

If so, spend many wonderful hours exploring technique.

If no, spend many wonderful hours exploring technique.

Above all, relax.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating