I had almost the exact situation wrt my wife. We've been together 10 years and she still has difficulty saying "dirty words" and at first tended to be rather restrained sexually speaking. I, too, would get frustrated at first, but then I would recall the reasons why I fell in love, and they had nothing to do with "sex." So I never forced the issue. Eventually, she began to be more free (sexually speaking) in bed. I really think that this is due to the fact that I never pressured her into doing anything that she was not comfortable with and I never made her feel that she wasn't satisfying me in bed. I spoke openly about my desires and hid nothing from her (For example, my porn collection or viewing explicit materials on the net). Eventually she started asking me questions about what attracted me to the materials I watched/surfed. This would lead to a mini-discussion and a frank sharing of feelings. More recently, she has viewed many of the pics posted on this site and I think that gave her comfort that "normal people" can be open with their sexuality and desires. (God Bless Pixies ) This open channel of communication have led to a even deeper intimacy between us and a gradual exploration of different sexual activities that are totally initiated by her. I almost had a massive coronary attack when she announced, off the cuff, that we should take some pictures to share with our friends at Pixies. The long and short of is that I totally agree with Irish, communication is the key. Be sure that you are not exerting undue pressure and backing her into a corner as this could lead to resentment. Also, a little self-analysis might be in order. Are you communicating your expectations clearly? And are these expectations reasonable? I would suggest a heart-to-heart talk to see if some middle ground can be reached. And please keep in mind the reasons that you fell in love with her in the first place. You may find that the things that frustrate you are not big a deal, in the larger scheme of things.

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Nubian