I wasn't going to do this today. After all, it's been 22 years already! But I woke this morning and I couldn't shake this looming feeling. It is an anniversary that no one wants to hold in remembrance...but we do.

I am over the pity party...I am over the need to hear the sympathy...I am over the anger...I am over the feeling of being lost in this big world...I am over most of it. But, I am not over the greed of wanting her back...if just for a moment...to say I love you soooooooooooo much and to say I am sorry for being such a shithead at times...and to tell her THANK YOU for giving me life!!!

Let me tell you a little bit about my mother. Caroline was a pip! She had quirks and psycological needs that'd make your head swim. But she was kind, and loving and funny, and had a more open mind than anyone I have ever met...EVER! She had insight into the future...but I'm sure she'd still be in awe of just how far we've come in 22 years. She had limitations because of her religious upbringing and following...but she could suddenly come out of herself and shock you with a snippet of sexual inuendo that would make her giggle and you blush! She sacrificed her own basic comforts for her 5 children...but never blamed us for her sacrifices...instead, taught us that that's what parenting means. She was both Mom and Dad...when Dad failed to live up to his end of the deal. She cried when things were so very funny...and she'd lighten a sad moment with a silver lining story. She was the perfect role model for "how NOT to direct your life", and she did it with such grace and flair that you'd swear she had the answers but just never thought to ask the questions! That was my Mom...that was Caroline...and I miss her as if she had died yesterday!

I talked with two of my sisters today, and they both said the same thing to me. What is it about this particular anniversary? It's been 22 years for crying out loud! How is that a landmark number? All I could think of is...it's landmark because it's for Mom!

I share a lot here at Pixies...and I just wanted to share my mood of this day as well. I don't need any pity (as I said, I'm over that). I actually don't need anything from you guys (my 2nd family) except for you to read about the woman I've been thinking bout most today!

TY for your indulgence!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Lixy ... I know she was a remarkable woman .... because her legacy in you is so remarkable! My mom is still here and I love her dearly, I've lost others from this life, but the thought of not having her around, well I don't like to think about it, but I'm here to offer support and love and anything else that might make this day a bit easier today and for all the years (and I hope you have MANY of them) to come.

((((fzzy))))

I've always appreciated your words for the expression of true caring I can literally feel behind them! It eases me just to know that you've read and understand!

Seems we'll be here for a long time to come...and that's a comfort, to know our friendship has longevity!!!!! TY sweety!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Lixy, thanks for sharing your Mom with us. Great story and a great gift to you and your family.

(((Lixy)))



rabbit

Thanks Lixy Darlin', that brought a tear to my eye Hon. She must've been one helluva lady.. she raised one of my favorite people! I understand missing someone special.

__________________
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

((((((((Lixy))))))) I can't say I know how you feel but I do know that someday I most likely will. Sending thoughts of comfort and nourishment for your soul.

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Maybe because "22" was so important to her.

__________________

She sounds just like my mom too. Thank you for the remembrance and the reminder that I should make the most of the time I still have with my mother. ((((((((((((((Lixy))))))))))))))

__________________

((((((((((Lixy)))))))))

Thank YOU. That was so beautiful; my eyes are full of tears now. x

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))



~nikki

__________________
Ravage Me!

Me Time
Long Lonley Night
Tied Up
Teased

http://thesmashedfairy.blogspot.com/

Hugs to you all...(((fzzy, rabbit, BigBear, Lilith, Sharni, osuche, sodaklostsoul, Oldfart, PantyFanatic, Galatea, Loulabelle, nikki)))...

I was having a moment and I knew I could share it here and be understood! You guys are wonderful and I love you all!

And...something interesting just dawned on me. I said in my earlier post that I had talked with two of my sisters yesterday. I have 3 sisters living and my brother is dead. The one sister I couldn't get hold of is my mother's namesake...Caroline. She has 5 children as well...1 boy and 4 girls. Ohhhhh...I'm just thinking out loud again, I guess! Hmmmmm.........

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Thinking of you. Keep your chin up so you can see her smiling down on you, today and every day. Sounds like the perfect mother

__________________
~Tainted Love~

Lixy---Take it from me-Enjoy your memories!
EX:My mother is 92yrs old.She is in an assisted living home.(Expensive!!)My
oldest daughter & her two kids,recently visited her.My mother,introduced her,
to the other residents & staff,as her neice & her children.She didn't even
realize,that it was her granddaughter & great grandchildren.She was married,
to my father(deceased) for over 50yrs.She knows,of him,but knows nothing
about him(sad).She knows that I'm her son,but that's it.When I visit her,
she'll ask me the same thing,that I told her 5mins earlier.As they get older,
they start to lose(expectedly) it. Sometimes, I think, that it's too bad,that they couldn't stay,as the wonderful person, that you remember! Irish
P.S.She's sharp as a tack,in some ways,but has slipped in others!

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Mrs. WI lost her mother 14 years ago and feels it every holiday and every year on the anniversary date. It's her mom, and it's your mom. And your mom sounds wonderful Lixy. (((Lixy)))

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

((((Lixy))))

For gosh sakes woman... I can hide a hard-on pretty well, but how I am gonna explain these tears if someone comes by my desk? It's times like this when I wish I could visit Pixies at home and not have to choke back emotions when someone shares part of their life like you have done... and I am glad you trust in us that you can share your mood, be it good or not so good. Your Mom sounds like she was truly a beautiful person, thanks for sharing her memory...

__________________
Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these